How to bring up the idea of a prenup. Yes, champagne may help.
Congratulations on your engagement! And, congratulations on your decision to be financially responsible, and get a prenuptial agreement. Although it may not seem like it, you are one of a growing number of people (millennials, especially) making the practice of getting a prenup more and more common.
The decision to get a prenup is just the beginning of the process- now, you have to discuss this idea with your future spouse, to make sure they are on board. Keep the following tips in mind to help ease the often difficult prenup conversation:
Take a deep breath: Prenups are very common.
As we stated before, prenups are becoming standard among millennials, and very common among the rest of the soon-to-wed society. Because more people are getting married later in life, with more property and earnings that were theirs before marriage, prenups just seem like a logical next step. Keeping in mind that you are not alone, you are not being selfish, and you are simply choosing to be a practical, financially responsible adult, will help ease your own mind when heading into this conversation.
Emphasize the benefits.
Prenups aren’t about divorce. They aren’t about cutting your future spouse out of your finances. They are not about one spouse controlling the other. Prenups are about transparency- they allow future spouses an opportunity to plan their finances, fully disclosure their assets, and discuss what happens in the event of death, divorce, or incapacity. Marriage can be stressful. Marriage can muddy the waters, and make it difficult for couple’s to ensure they are on the same page. So, why not make sure you are on the same page now?
Remember that a prenup is about commitment.
You and your fiancée are both committed to the idea of marriage, and undoubtedly committed to each other. A prenup will help you define those commitments, from a financial perspective, including who is expected to pay the mortgage, who should put their savings into the joint account versus a separate account, etc. You are not getting a prenup because of some commitment issue- you are getting a prenup because you are 100% committed to the success of this marriage.