Breaking up is hard to do—especially when it involves legally ending a marriage. Whether your state calls it divorce or dissolution, the process of splitting up can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions and paperwork. Let’s break down what dissolution of marriage means, how it works, and what you can expect when navigating this major life change.
What is “dissolution of marriage”?
A dissolution of marriage is the legal process where a married couple formally ends their marriage. This involves dividing up their stuff (i.e. real estate, bank accounts, vehicles, etc.), figuring out custody and support for any kids they have, and settling any other issues like spousal support (a.k.a. alimony). It’s handled through the legal system, where one spouse usually files paperwork to start the process. The goal is to reach a final agreement that officially ends the marriage and outlines all the details moving forward.
Is divorce the same as dissolution?
Sort of—but this answer actually depends on where you live. Ultimately, divorce and dissolution of marriage refer to the same legal process of ending a marriage, but they can have slightly different implications depending on your state:
Divorce: Usually involves one spouse filing for divorce, which can happen for various reasons like irreconcilable differences, adultery, or other legal grounds depending on where you live. It often means there are issues that need sorting out in court, like who gets what stuff, who gets custody of the kids, and how much support is paid.
Dissolution of Marriage: This term is often used synonymously with divorce, but in some states, like Ohio, it may specifically refer to a no-fault divorce process where both spouses agree to end their marriage amicably without needing to prove fault or wrongdoing. Dissolution of marriage can imply a more amicable split where you and your spouse agree to work together to figure out everything from property division to child arrangements.
So, what’s the first step to take?
If you’re considering a divorce, you may be tempted to go straight to the courthouse to get the process started. Well, pump those brakes. Before you do anything, take a moment to review these preliminary action items:
Talk to a divorce lawyer
We can’t emphasize this enough. They’ll explain the whole process, what your rights are, and how to get started in your area. It’s like getting a roadmap for what’s ahead.
Consider mediation
If you and your spouse are at a point where you can still talk things out without getting into a screaming match, mediation might be a good option. It helps you work through stuff like who gets what property and custody without going to court right away.
Pro Tip: It can also help you cut down on attorneys’ fees and court costs in the long run.
Get your financial docs
Start gathering your financial paperwork—like bank statements, tax returns, and info on what you own and owe. This stuff will be important for sorting out who gets what during the divorce.
Think about custody
If you have kids, start thinking about what custody arrangements might work best. It’s good to have some ideas before you get deeper into the process. Fair warning: what you think is best isn’t always what the court ends up deciding if you and your partner can’t come to an agreement that is in the best interests of the child.
Prioritize self-care
It’s certainly no secret that divorce can be tough mentally and emotionally. Make sure to take care of yourself and lean on friends, family, or even a counselor for support during this time.
How does someone get a divorce?
This is the part where you’ll really need to seek advice from a local divorce attorney to understand the ins and outs of your state’s procedural requirements. But let’s take a look at a very general overview of how someone typically goes about getting a divorce:
Step 1: File a petition
To officially start the divorce process, one spouse (formally known as the petitioner) files a petition for divorce with the appropriate court in your area. This document outlines the grounds for divorce (which can vary by state) and states what the petitioner is seeking in terms of division of property, child custody,spousal support, etc.
Step 2: Serve the petition
The petitioner must then arrange to have the divorce petition and related documents served on the other spouse (formally known as the respondent). This ensures the respondent is aware of the divorce proceedings.
Step 3: Respond to the petition
The respondent has a specific amount of time to answer the petition, either agreeing or disagreeing with the outlined terms. If they disagree, they may file a counter-petition outlining their own requests.
Step 4: Negotiate and mediate
Many divorces involve negotiation and possibly mediation to settle issues like division of property, child custody and support, and spousal support. Mediation can be voluntary or court-ordered and involves a neutral third party helping the couple reach an agreement.
Step 6: Court proceedings
If the couple just can’t reach an agreement on their own or through mediation, the case will go to court. Each side presents its case, and the judge makes decisions on unresolved issues based on your state’s laws and guidelines.
Step 7: Finalize the divorce
Once all issues are settled and agreed upon or decided by the court, the divorce can be finalized. This usually involves the court issuing a final divorce decree that legally ends the marriage and spells out the terms of the divorce settlement. Each state has its own specific rules and procedures for divorce, so it’s critical that you consult with a local attorney who can advise you about the process.
@helloprenup We invited expert Stacy Francis CFP®, CDFA and founder of Savvy Ladies, to talk about common misconceptions around divorce on our podcast. Coming soon to the HelloPrenup podcast.
What happens with a prenup during a divorce?
Your prenup dictates who gets what—whether it’s property, investments, or business interests—during a divorce. Prenups are legally binding documents if they meet certain requirements, like being reasonably fair and voluntarily signed. Courts generally uphold prenups unless the prenup is not state-compliant.
Ideally, you and your spouse will agree to abide by the terms of the prenup. The divorce process can move forward according to these terms, making the division of assets and other matters more straightforward.
However, even with a prenup, there may be negotiations about its terms, especially if circumstances have changed significantly since it was signed. If one spouse wishes to contest the validity of the prenup itself or certain terms contained in the prenup, this may result in litigation. (This is where a judge will determine the validity of the prenup and whether to enforce its terms). In the off-chance that the court decides not to enforce your prenup, then your state’s default laws will apply as they pertain to property division and spousal support.
Bottom line? Having a prenup can make the divorce process faster and less costly, saving you time, money, and stress. So, if you’re still on the fiancé side of the fence, it’s worth considering a prenup!
What happens after you divorce?
Once you receive your divorce decree, your marriage is officially over, and you’ll be legally single again. Even after your divorce is final, there are still a few things that you’ll need to address as you start down your new path:
Name changes
If you changed your name when you got married, you might decide to switch it back or keep it—whatever feels right for you. There is no obligation to change your name after a divorce if you choose to keep your spouse’s name. But, if you do decide to change it back to your former name, remember to update your driver’s license, passport, and other IDs accordingly.
Sorting finances
You’ll need to untangle any joint finances. This means closing joint bank accounts, dividing up debts, and making sure any property is divided as agreed upon or ordered by the court.
Kids, custody, and support
If you have children, custody arrangements and child support will be set out in the divorce decree. It’s important to follow these guidelines and make sure your kids are supported emotionally and financially.
Main takeaway
Getting a divorce is about legally ending things with your spouse and moving forward separately. Whether your state calls it a divorce or dissolution, the process involves sorting out your stuff, figuring out custody if there are kids, and making sure everyone’s on the same page about how to move forward. It’s not always easy, but with the right support and understanding of the process, you can navigate it and start fresh on your own terms. Remember, every situation is unique, so taking it step by step and seeking legal advice when needed can make a big difference in how smoothly things go.
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