I love love. I’m a lifelong romantic who will happily rewatch the Notebook for the 18th+ time, wake up early to watch the sunrise, or keep valentines day cards from elementary school.
And when my husband and I fell in love, it was magic. And when we started to talk about managing money together, it was … not quite the same magic. It was confusing and uncomfortable. And the old-school tools built for individuals or couples-from-another-generation made it that much harder.
So we decided to build Plenty together: a platform built for modern couples to budget, invest, and plan for their life together. To make it a little easier for couples to manage their money, and get back to what matters.
Even though we’re lifelong romantics who believe in soulmates, we’re also oddly pragmatic. And that led us down the path of getting a prenup. With a few years behind us now, I can confidently say it was one of the best decisions we’ve made to strengthen the foundation of our marriage.
Prenups often come with outdated stereotypes—the image of an older, wealthier spouse protecting their assets from a younger partner. But for us, and many other modern couples, that’s not what a prenup is about. In fact, it’s not about protecting one person over the other; it’s about creating clarity, trust, and security in a relationship.
Why We Chose a Prenup
We decided to get a prenup for three main reasons, and each one has strengthened our relationship.
One of the biggest motivators for us was the idea that by getting married, we were agreeing to a set of laws that we had no hand in shaping. Depending on where you live, the rules governing marriage—and, more importantly, divorce—can vary widely. My partner and I have both moved across cities and states for career opportunities, so the idea of letting geography decide how our assets would be divided didn’t sit right with us. Instead, we wanted to create our own agreement that reflected our unique situation, goals, and values. A prenup gave us that power. We set the terms rather than relying on laws that might not align with our vision for our future.
Another reason we chose a prenup was because we knew we wanted to have kids one day. If something were to happen to our marriage, we didn’t want to wait until we were emotionally hurt to figure out what was “fair.” By having the hard conversations early on, we were able to make decisions with a clear head and a lot of love. I’ve seen too many couples go through painful, drawn-out divorces where their children were the ones caught in the crossfire. By having a prenup in place, we hope to avoid that kind of conflict if we ever part ways. For us, this was a responsible, loving choice for our future children.
When we first started talking about getting a prenup, we knew we didn’t want it to turn into a legal battle. The traditional approach—each person hiring a lawyer to “fight” for their side—didn’t resonate with us. We didn’t want to approach this process with a me-vs-you mentality. We opted for a more collaborative process that felt more like a coaching session than a legal negotiation. We talked through our goals, our finances, and our future together. After we were both comfortable with the agreement, we each hired a lawyer for a quick review to make it official. This approach saved us both time, money, and unnecessary stress.
How a Prenup Strengthened Our Relationship
I’ll be honest—talking about a prenup wasn’t easy at first. But once we got into it, we realized that these conversations were incredibly valuable. Here are three ways the process actually strengthened our relationship.
- We Got Real About Money: A prenup requires full financial disclosure, which means we had to lay everything out on the table: assets, debts, savings, and future financial goals. While we had discussed money before, the prenup process made us dive deeper and get even more aligned on how we wanted to manage our finances as a team.
- We Talked About Our Future: Creating a prenup also gave us the space to talk about big “what if” scenarios—what if one of us wants to stay home with the kids? What if our careers change? What if we move to a new state or country? Having these conversations upfront helped us clarify our shared vision for the future and prepare for the unexpected.
- We Built a Financial System Together: Our prenup gave us a clear structure for managing our finances—what would remain separate, what would be joint, and how we would handle future earnings. This kind of planning helped us start our marriage with a strong financial foundation and eliminated the guesswork around money, which can often cause tension in relationships.
In Conclusion
Getting a prenup wasn’t about planning for failure—it was about planning for success. By having open, honest conversations about our finances and our future, we created a strong foundation of trust, respect, and partnership. I am proud to partner with HelloPrenup to bring couples all over the country a prenup solution that is accessible to all.
It’s not easy to have tough conversations: but it gets easier the more you do them. And with a life together ahead of you, there will be many moments where your ability to talk money will make a big difference on the shape of your lives together. . A prenup is just one tool to help you start that. And in our case, it brought us closer, both emotionally and financially.
Emily Luk, CPA, CA, CFA. Emily is the CEO and co-founder of Plenty. Started by a husband and wife team, Plenty is a wealth platform built for modern couples to invest and plan towards their future, together. Previously, she was VP of Strategy and Operations at Even (acquired by Walmart/One) as they scaled to support millions of individuals and move billions of dollars. Before that, she was a founding team member of Stripe’s Growth and Finance & Strategy teams. She began her career as a VC, and was one of the youngest nationally to complete both her CPA and CFA designations.
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