You’ve devoted years, maybe decades, to running the household, raising kids, and supporting your spouse’s career. You may not have collected paychecks, but your labor has extraordinary value to your family. So, when the marriage ends, what happens to you? That’s where spousal support comes in. You’re a stay‑at‑home mom who has stepped out of the workforce to do the thankless, nonstop job of raising a family. More accurately, you’re the CEO of your home. In this article, we’ll explore what spousal support looks like, how courts evaluate it, and how you, not a random judge in a courtroom, can take charge of protecting your financial future. But what is spousal support? And, can a prenup help protect me? Keep reading to find the answers to your questions and to learn more about how to protect yourself if you’re a stay-at-home mom.
What is spousal support?
Spousal support, sometimes called “alimony” or “spousal maintenance,” is a court-ordered payment from one spouse to the other after separation or divorce. At its core, it’s a legal tool designed to soften the financial impact of a breakup, especially when one spouse has been financially dependent during the marriage. Maybe one partner earned the income while the other managed the home or took time away from a career to raise kids. Spousal support steps in to help balance the scales, at least temporarily, so that both people have a fair shot at moving forward. It’s not a reward or a punishment. It’s a recognition that marriage is a partnership, and sometimes, that partnership leaves one person needing a little more support on the other side.
States differ in how they view spousal support
In many states, the law recognizes that financial contributions aren’t always measured in dollars. Helping raise children, managing daily schedules, and keeping a home running are all forms of support. Because of that, the legislature gave family courts the power to award spousal maintenance when one spouse has been financially disadvantaged.
Some states look favorably upon spousal support
Some states are more likely to award spousal support than others. For instance, New York’s Domestic Relations Law mandates that courts consider “direct or indirect contributions to the career or career potential of the other spouse,” which includes child-rearing and homemaking (N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 236[B]). New York courts routinely award a larger share of assets or spousal support to stay-at-home parents in long-term marriages.
Similarly, in California, courts consider contributions to the education or career of the other spouse, including staying home to raise children while the other pursues work or school (Cal. Fam. Code § 4320). California cases like In re Marriage of Frick recognize the importance of homemaker contributions to career advancement and earning capacity (In re Marriage of Frick (1986)).
Some states are less likely to award support
Other states, however, are significantly more reluctant to award spousal support. These states are less concerned with keeping the less-monied spouse in the same lifestyle that they enjoyed during the marriage. Texas, for instance, is widely considered one of the least generous states when it comes to spousal maintenance. In Texas, there’s a presumption against spousal maintenance (Tex. Fam. Code § 8.053). Additionally, a couple must have been married for at least ten years, and the burden is on the requesting spouse (oftentimes stay-at-home moms) to prove several factors, including that they lack sufficient means to meet their reasonable needs. If spousal support is awarded in Texas, it cannot exceed $5,000 per month or 20% of the payer’s gross income.
Mississippi and South Dakota also have relatively narrow definitions of when alimony is awarded. Alabama generally caps long-term alimony to five years unless compelling reasons exist. States that distribute marital property under the principle of community property, which generally means a 50/50 split, are less likely to award spousal support. This is because the courts in those states (9 states in the US, to be exact) view the equal split of property as sufficient compensation
Why stay-at-home moms should be compensated
In forgoing your career to nurture your family and take care of your home, you’re making significant sacrifices. During your tenure as CEO of the home, it’s unlikely that you will bring in an income or increase your savings. You also won’t be advancing your career, networking, or receiving contributions through an employer-provided 401(k). On top of what you’re sacrificing during your child-rearing years, you will incur a gap in your resume, and it could take considerable effort and time to find a job if you decide to re-enter the workforce. If your marriage ends in divorce after you’ve spent a long time unemployed raising children, spousal support could be an enormous help.
As we discussed above, some states are more inclined to award spousal support than others. But even in states that often take non-financial contributions (such as raising children) into account, it’s never a guarantee that a court will balance the finances of the parties through spousal support or distribution of marital property. Let’s first look at an example where a stay-at-home mom was recognized for her contributions to the family. In the 2016 South Carolina case, Conits v. Conits, the wife stayed home and cared for the family while the husband earned an income. Even though he contributed more financially, the appellate court upheld a 50/50 property split, noting her traditional homemaking role had value and deserved recognition.
Drafting a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that includes spousal support language is one way you can ensure you won’t be in a financial crisis if your marriage ends. You gave up career momentum, yet you kept the home and family running. This choice should be rewarded, and balance should be restored, especially if you’re facing life as a single parent who has been out of the workforce for a long time.
What courts consider
Courts take a holistic view in considering whether to award spousal support. They look at your age, health, education, job skills, and earning potential. Courts will also consider the length of the marriage, whether a party paused their career to raise kids, and the lifestyle of the parties during the marriage. For example, a long marriage with significant sacrifice could be more likely to qualify for long-term support than a shorter, more financially independent one. But keep in mind that although all courts can consider these factors, some states give them less weight than others.
Building your case as a stay‑at‑home mom
If you find yourself preparing for divorce, early steps matter. Start by gathering financial documents, not just pay stubs, but household bills, mortgage, tuition, daycare, and grocery receipts. Think not just about what you spent, but what you gave up by staying home. You may have lost valuable pension contributions, consistent monthly income, and career growth. At the same time, show actionable plans that prove you’re proactively working towards becoming career-ready after time out of the workforce. Are you registered for courses, networking, or engaging in part-time work? States like Texas want to see efforts toward self-sufficiency.
Temporary vs. long-term support
During divorce proceedings, many states offer temporary maintenance to help you stay stable while the legal process unfolds. This can cover rent, utilities, or even legal fees. Once the final order is issued in your divorce, the type and duration of spousal support can depend on the marriage length and the continued need.
Depending on the state you’re divorcing in, long-term or permanent orders may apply if the marriage was lengthy and the spouse was disadvantaged. All of this depends on which state you and your partner are living in when you divorce. Consult a local family law attorney to learn more about how state and case law treats spousal support.
How a prenup or postnup can help protect you
It’s very likely that many women who gave up careers to be a stay-at-home mom wish they could go back in time and sign a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that included provisions for spousal support. These agreements can specify how much spousal support you will receive if there’s a divorce in the future. The amount can be based on a percentage of what the money-earning spouse earns at the time of the divorce, or it can be a predetermined amount of monthly payments. The agreement should specify the amount of time these payments will be paid, and it should state when and how this obligation will cease. Clarity is critical and will help your prenup be upheld in the future.
States vary in their rules for a valid and enforceable prenup and postnup, but at a minimum, they must be in writing, signed voluntarily by both parties, include full and fair financial disclosures, and the terms should not be unconscionable. Some states, like California, require that each party have independent counsel for a valid prenup or postnup if they are altering or waiving spousal support. It’s critical that you consult a family law attorney to inquire about the prenup and postnup laws in your state. By including spousal support language in your agreement, you can skip the courtroom drama and the future financial stress that so many stay-at-home moms face after a divorce.
Bottom line on spousal support for stay‑at‑home moms
For a stay-at-home mom, spousal support can be a financial lifeline during one of life’s most difficult transitions. If you’ve spent years raising children and supporting your partner’s career, often at the expense of your own, spousal support acknowledges that those contributions matter. It helps bridge the gap as you reestablish financial independence, reenter the workforce, or pursue education and training you may have delayed. In short, spousal support is designed to give you time and space to rebuild, recognizing that while you may not have earned a paycheck, you were still working full-time, every day, for the good of the family. And that effort deserves protection.
Talk with your partner and set expectations for a clear and transparent view of your finances. Marriage is a partnership, and as half of that partnership, you should be fully aware of the financial state of your marriage. During this conversation, discuss the possibility of a prenuptial agreement (if you’re not yet married) or a postnuptial agreement (if you’re already married) to predetermine spousal support if there’s a divorce in the future.
Jourdan Stewart is Legal Operations Attorney at HelloPrenup, and a Texas licensed attorney. Jourdan is experienced in drafting prenuptial agreements, and her legal expertise extends to other aspects of family law, business law and entertainment law. Jourdan earned her law degree from Pepperdine University, her MBA from The Acton School of Business, and her BBA from Baylor University. Jourdan’s favorite aspect of legal practice is helping clients fully understand and achieve their goals. She finds great satisfaction in tailoring solutions to each client’s unique set of wants and needs. When she’s not practicing law, Jourdan can be found in nature with her two children and their dog, Stewey.
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