When it comes to weddings, suddenly everyone’s wallet is involved—Mom’s footing the bill for one thing, Dad’s covering another, and your aunt insists on paying for the bridal shower. Let’s face it: The wedding industry is expensive, and costs can quickly add up. Whether you’re planning an intimate dinner party or a 500-person black tie soirĂ©e, the numbers add up fast.Â
Traditionally, in the Western World, the bride’s family is expected to and has saved for covering most, if not all, of the wedding costs. In some families, where tradition is deeply ingrained and valued, saving for a daughter’s wedding begins the moment she is born. Weddings have traditionally been treated as a rite of passage and a place of pride. However, in 2025, we are not living in a Father of the Bride sequel, and how we approach money (and marriage) has changed dramatically since the days of yore.Â
Tradition versus reality
Traditionally, the bride’s family has been responsible for covering the costs of the ceremony, reception, bridal attire, floral design, wedding planner, and music. Historically, the groom’s family would cover the cost of the rehearsal dinner and the groom’s attire. The costs of the wedding bands, gifts for each other, the marriage license, and the honeymoon are typically covered by the couple. This traditional approach to covering wedding expenses stems from a time when women weren’t expected to be anything but homemakers, and men were expected to be the primary breadwinners for their families. A woman with little to no property of her own would go from relying on her parents to care for her to relying on her husband to care for her. Women would often marry in their early twenties, and even if they had jobs, they typically had not saved enough to contribute significantly to the cost of the wedding. Not to mention, weddings were considered a final farewell to a daughter as she left her original nuclear family. As you can imagine, this dynamic doesn’t hold up so well in 2025.Â
The modern split: Three (or four) wallets are better than one
Today’s couples are confidently redefining the traditions and expectations of marriage and finances in a new, more modern light. Many couples choose to marry later in life, which, in terms of earning potential alone, gives them a much higher opportunity to save their own money to contribute to their wedding costs. Not only are modern-day couples older and more financially independent, but they have also been living with their partners for much longer than they were before they exchanged their rings. Living together allows modern couples to build an informed and structured approach to financial responsibilities and budget management within the dynamic of their relationship before tying the knot.Â
Just as today’s couples are reshaping what marriage can look like, they are also rewriting how wedding costs are covered. As the costs of weddings continue to rise, it has become increasingly desirable to seek multiple sources of income to cover the entire affair’s expenses. It is becoming more and more common to find situations in which not only the bride’s parents pay, but also the groom’s parents pay, and the couple adds their share of the cost. In most modern-day weddings, a custom blend of contributions is likely curated based on what works best for the couple and their financial state, family dynamics, cultural needs, and personal preferences. This flexibility allows couples to find a payment structure that best suits their circumstances. A growing number of couples are opting to share the costs of their wedding with both sets of parents. With three family incomes contributing, the financial weight of planning and paying for a wedding becomes much less burdensome.
Talk money before talking menu
Although discussing money is still considered taboo for many people still, it’s essential to the wedding planning process. (And, let’s face it, essential for your relationship, too). Before booking a venue or committing to vendors, there is no choice but to have a frank dialogue with everyone who plans to be financially involved.Â
First, it must be determined who wants to contribute financially, how much they are comfortable contributing, and, most importantly, the conditions attached to their contributions. This transparency will help the couple confidently navigate the financial hurdles of the wedding and get a greater understanding of what is expected as a result of any financial contributions. There may be a need to continually remind the contributing parties that financial assistance does not imply financial control. Boundaries will likely need to be set early.Â
What should the couple pay for?Â
Even when families are pitching in, it’s good practice for couples to cover some expenses themselves. It is a good rule of thumb for couples to consider paying for any incremental expenses, such as the marriage license, wedding bands, welcome gifts, and transportation and accommodations on the wedding day. Any additional costs that would fall outside of the standard wedding planning budget could be considered the couple’s responsibility. Some couples take pride in financing their wedding, especially if they want complete creative control over the event. Others may choose to use the funds they would have spent on a single day or weekend towards purchasing a home, going on an extravagant honeymoon, or saving for their future family. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong answer in this decision.
A note on non-traditional and LGBTQ+ weddings
Just as today’s modern couple is rewriting tradition in terms of finances, in weddings where the couple does not conform to traditionally binary bride-groom dynamics, expectations around expense sharing can also deviate from tradition. Tradition becomes a thing of the past, and costs are often covered more practically. Decisions are based on income and personal preferences rather than cultural traditions. It is always most important to focus on open communication and what feels comfortable, rather than adhering to tradition. Â
Cultural clarityÂ
Traditionally, couples have married within their cultural backgrounds, and customs associated with those cultures have been followed without hesitation. However, as couples embrace the beauty of cultural diversity, they are now realizing that cultural differences can play a significant role in shaping expectations about who pays for what on the wedding day. Some examples of cultural divides in wedding cost coverage include a strong emphasis on the purse strings of Padrinos and Madrinas in Latinx cultures, the push for the groom’s parents to pay for wedding costs in Asian cultures, and the splitting of the bill in Ashkenazi cultures.Â
When cultures collide in modern romances, the price of tradition is typically thwarted because when it comes to cultural tradition, families can get very proud. Not only can these traditional views influence how couples choose to finance their weddings, but they can also be another reason for couples to consider financing their weddings independently. It’s essential to be culturally aware and respectful when considering traditions during the planning process. This will only foster a fertile ground for informed decision-making in the future.Â
Final thoughts
Although some couples would rather drink spoiled milk than discuss money, when it comes to finalizing how to finance the wedding, the conversations are inevitable. When planning begins, it’s essential to consider tradition and how it can impact the wedding costs. It’s important to understand the potential implications that may come from accepting a generous gift to finance the wedding. The cultural implications that may follow if such gifts are not received also need to be considered. Initial conversations about who is paying for what and how will lay the foundation for the wedding planning journey. Without these conversations, planning is impossible. Always be open, be honest, and remember that traditions only matter if they work for you!Â
Samantha Hertz is the founder of Saturdays in the Sun, a creative consultancy agency based in New York specializing in turning innovative ideas into reality. With over a decade of experience in the luxury fashion industry, having worked with prestigious brands such as Prada, Burberry, and Giorgio Armani, she has developed a strong skill set in event planning, creative project management, and visual display. In recent years, Samantha has ventured into wedding planning. Her background in luxury fashion has given her keen attention to detail and the ability to thrive in high-pressure environments—qualities that have proven invaluable in the glamorous and often chaotic world of weddings.
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