“Bennifer” took the world by surprise. In case you’ve been avoiding social media or any news outlets for the past several years, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are back together. Yes, back together, for anyone born in the early 2000s. Ben and Jennifer got together in the late summer of 2002 as more than friends. Eventually, the two seemingly went their separate ways. But by April 2021, the pair were back together, reigniting their twenty-year love saga!
Begging the question, how rarely does this happen? Or, in other words, how often do couples get back together?
What percent of couples get back together?
One study found that 41% of participants got back together with an ex after initially breaking up. In another study of college boyfriends and girlfriends at the University of Texas, 65% of couples ended up getting back together. In yet another study (at Kansas State University), results showed that 37% of cohabiting couples who broke up got back together.
Note that one relationship expert (Chris Seiter) stated that for those couples that do get back together, only 45% of them work out.
Bottom line: As you can see, the percentage of couples that get back together varies somewhere between 37% and 65%, and it may depend on your age, whether or not you’ve been living together, and other variables. Whether or not you’ll stay together is also less than 50%, according to one relationship expert.
Are soulmates real? Science offers a perspective
People who break up and get back together again may wonder if the reason is there is an invisible string pulling them back together and if they are actually soulmates. Are soulmates real, or is there a scientific explanation for this?
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Statistics: Studies show while relationship reunions happen, the majority (70%) of couples stay broken up, with only a small percentage successfully reconnecting long-term. So, needless to say, it’s on the rarer side to rekindle a relationship. In addition, 60% of respondents in a 2021 survey said that they believed in soulmates.
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Soulmates vs. Science: The concept of “the one” may be more myth than reality. Researchers suggest getting back together is often driven by more practical, evolutionary roots. The human adult couple is a fairly recent adaptation (0.5-2 million years old) that developed in response to the importance of the male partner’s investment in their offspring.
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Evolutionary Explanation: Our fear of loneliness, need for attachment, and need for a paternal investment in offspring can make reuniting seem appealing from a biological standpoint.
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Important Note: This doesn’t mean reconnecting with an ex is always a bad idea, just that the motivations might be more complex than a fairytale soulmate concept.
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Reconnecting: Can it work?
So, you may have clicked on this article because you are considering reconnecting with your ex. But can it work? Does reconnecting and getting back together have a real chance to last? Let’s discuss:
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Relationship Status Matters:
- Dating Couples: Reconciling is usually straightforward for couples who were simply dating and then broke up. No legalities involved, and it’s pretty simple to slap the “girlfriend/boyfriend” label back on.
- Divorced Couples: This gets a little trickier. There are real legalities involved here, and potentially children, which makes it both a legal and emotional minefield. Make sure to reach out to your divorce attorney if the divorce isn’t final and ask about the next steps.
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Success Factors: What makes a reconnecting relationship work? Open communication, honesty, and taking things slow are key, regardless of your past relationship status.
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The Prenup Option for Remarriage: After a divorce or a split, you have a clearer understanding of the potential risks of a relationship. A prenup can protect your ass(ets) if the reunion doesn’t last.
Celebs that have called it quits and gotten back together
We commoners aren’t the only ones who break up and get back together with our significant others. Stars do it, too! “Bennifer” may be making headlines, but they’re certainly not the first. Here are other celebrities who have broken up with their partners and reunited to try again.
- Adam Levine & Behati Prinsloo: Their brief split before engagement, but the marriage seems strong since.
- Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cutler: They reunited, got married, but ultimately divorced. (And we hear Kristin is on to her a new beau).
- Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick: On-again-off-again for years, never married, ultimately didn’t work.
- Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth: Engagement, breakup, then marriage – still ended in divorce.
- Prince William & Kate Middleton: Brief split before engagement, now happily married with a family.
Key lessons we can learn from celebs:
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- Pre-commitment Breakups: Some couples, like Adam and Behati, reunite successfully.
- Reunions Don’t Always Work: Examples like Miley and Liam show that even rekindled love can end.
- Even Royals Get the Blues: Even future kings and queens experience relationship bumps.
- Prenups: Getting a prenup (whether you’re a celeb or not) is always a good idea to consider!
The bottom line
Well, there are always second chances in love, sometimes it just might be with a different person! If a couple permanently separates and then decides to remarry to other partners, it’s still a good idea to get a prenup. Arguably, even more so.
From a statistical point of view, if one or both partners have previously gone through a divorce, the couple is more likely to get divorced. Therefore, it’s wise to protect your assets and property with a prenuptial agreement. As we’ve already mentioned, even if you are remarrying your original spouse, a prenup still isn’t a bad idea.
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at Hello@Helloprenup.com.
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