While you can pick who you marry, you can’t pick what type of in-laws you get. Perhaps you got lucky and have perfect in-laws that don’t cause a hassle. However, not everyone is that lucky. Sometimes, in-laws can be frustrating. If you have an in-law that makes their opinion loud and clear, you know exactly what this is all about. In-laws can overstep and cause drama in many aspects of your relationship. From telling you and your partner how to manage your money and what marriage decisions to make to wedding planning, in-laws can be tricky.
Pushy in-laws can be difficult to navigate. While you want to protect yourself and your interests, you also don’t want to burn bridges and cause drama. After all, you’re about to marry into this family! This can leave you in a tough situation, unsure of the right move.
Deciding to sign a prenup should be a decision that involves only you and your partner. However, sometimes the opinion of family members seems to trickle down. No matter what your situation entails, prenups and in-laws can get tricky. In turn, this can lead to arguments between you and your partner.
Not sure how to navigate your situation surrounding prenups and in-laws? Let’s get into it!
Are your In-laws pushing a prenup?
By law, your in-laws cannot force you into signing a prenup. Though they may be pushy, the ultimate decision is only yours and your partners. A prenup is a legally binding contract between two people who are getting married. There is no legal ability for a parent to step in.
While the parents cannot directly play a role in the prenup process, financial situations in some families can make things sticky. Perhaps a wealthy family claims they will revoke a future inheritance if a prenup is not signed. Even non-wealthy families might be pushing for a prenup for a variety of reasons, such as protecting a family business.
If your in-laws are pushing a prenuptial agreement, it’s important to try to be empathetic. They’ve been involved in your future spouse’s financial decisions for years, so it can be difficult for them to realize it is time to take a step back. Before you resist the prenuptial agreement, it’s important to give some real thought to the idea. Are you resisting the idea simply because you have stigmas around prenups? If so, you might need to do some research. Many people have incorrect beliefs surrounding prenups and their bad reps. However, there are actually many benefits to creating a prenup that many people have not even considered.
Discussing a Prenup with the In-laws
Before you get ahead of yourself, you and your partner should sit down and have a conversation with the in-laws. This can help you understand the true reasoning they’ve been pushing a prenup. Both you and your partner should be present during this discussion. While you can hear them out and respect their opinions, you and your partner may also wish to set boundaries. At this time, you may need to spell out clearly that the decision to sign a prenup is not theirs. This conversation might also change your mind about the prenup, as you may end up agreeing with their reasoning.
The situation can get even trickier if you and your partner are not on the same page. Perhaps the parents are pushing for a prenup and so is your partner. Then, you’re left feeling like the “bad guy” by saying no. While you’re entitled to maintain your opinion, it may also be beneficial to reconsider a prenup.
Reconsider a Prenup
If your gut says no on a prenup before you make your decision and continue resisting, consider the many benefits to both you and your partner. For example, a prenup can help protect each partner from significant student loan debt, make divorce easier, and so much more.
When drafting a prenup, you can make it work for you. Even if your partner’s family is demanding you create one, you’re still responsible for what goes into it. Consider the things that are most important to you and be sure they’re reflected in your prenup. While the family may be more concerned with how it benefits from them, it can also benefit you equally. While you may not want to take it to a celebrity extreme, such as infidelity clauses, you might find that you like the freedom and flexibility a prenup provides such as discussing alimony and debts.
In addition, creating a prenup helps you retain your power. Couples who do not create a prenuptial agreement find themselves in a sticky situation, should a divorce happen. Often, the courts determine the division of assets (people who don’t know you!) By creating a prenup before you get married, you get the final say as to how things end up. This can make your divorce that much less stressful during a hectic time in your life.
Don’t Let Money Stand in the Way
If your reasons for not wanting to sign a prenup are because you think it will be costly and a hassle, think again. HelloPrenup makes prenups simple and easy. The typical cost of a prenup using traditional methods can be around $2,500+. That’s a hefty price to pay when you’re busy planning your wedding too! Instead, HelloPrenup costs only $599. Think of all the things you can do with an extra $1,900!
No matter what you decide, navigating these difficult conversations with in-laws can get tricky. However, remain calm and get on the same page as your partner. You’ll get through it!
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected]