There’s a reason why all the celebs get prenups–they’re super important. Yes, regardless of how much money you have. (Prenups aren’t just for the wealthy, didn’t you know?)
But we get it: you’re busy, and you have no time to go to law school to learn the ins and outs of prenuptial agreements. What are they? How do they work? What can you put in a prenup? What can you NOT put in a prenup? And, finally, how do I go about getting one?!
We answer all of these questions and more for you below!
Back to basics: What is a prenup?
Think of it as a financial roadmap for your marriage. A prenuptial agreement, or “prenup” for short, is a contract couples sign before getting married.
It spells out how money, property, and other important stuff will be handled during the marriage and if it ends in divorce. It’s like insurance for the ‘what-ifs’ of life, and it only kicks in once you’re officially married.
It is important to note that a prenup is only enforceable after the couple has legally tied the knot.
What can you include in a prenup?
There are a ton of different provisions you can include in your prenup, and what you specifically should include is heavily dependent on your state laws and your unique situation. Here are some of the areas prenups can address:
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Keeping it separate: Define what you brought into the marriage (your boat, a savings account, etc.) as yours alone – even if you divorce. You can also determine what future assets that you earn will be separate vs. shared.
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Spousal support (alimony): You can use a prenup to decide ahead of time if alimony will be waived, limited, or left alone in your prenup. Waiving alimony means you are agreeing to NOT pay each other support in a divorce. Limiting it means you are setting terms for how much alimony may be paid. Leaving it alone means allowing alimony to potentially be paid one day.
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Tackling debt: Protect yourself from your spouse’s debt, whether pre-marriage or marital, and ensure you don’t take on liabilities that you did not agree to or incur! And, YES, you can take on some of your spouse’s debt even if your name isn’t on it in some states (scary, we know).
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Gifts and inheritances: If you want to make sure that big wedding gift or future inheritance stays yours, the prenup’s the place to say it. For example, what do you want to happen to gifts you get from third parties or gifts to one another? What about that future house that Grandma Sue is passing down?
- Death clause: While not the most fun topic, it can be important to include a death clause to ensure your stuff goes where it should when you pass. Keep in mind that prenups are not estate planning tools but instead a good supplement to an existing estate plan.
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Furry friends: Yes, you can have a pet custody clause! Outline ownership, shared care costs, or even visitation rights if you split up. Without a pet clause in your prenup, custody of the pet may be given to a spouse based on basic property principles instead of taking into account the pet’s needs.
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Life insurance: You can add a clause that requires your spouse to maintain a policy for your benefit so you’re financially protected if the worst happens. (Note: Prenups don’t create life insurance clauses; they mandate that one or both parties get a policy).
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Keeping things private: Include a confidentiality clause to safeguard sensitive details about your finances, business, or even the prenup itself. Things like your net worth, future inheritances, and debt are all types of information contained in a prenup that you may wish to keep confidential.
The bottom line: A prenup can cover so much. And the above options are not all—this is just the tip of the iceberg! Every couple is different, so a prenup should be tailored to each individual couple’s needs.
What can you not include in a prenup?
Okay, so we talked about what to include in a prenup, but what about what NOT to include?
- Child support and child custody: Nearly all states do not allow parents to write in child custody or child support matters into their prenups. Children have individual needs that change over time, and it can be difficult to contract to what a child needs years before something actually happens.
- Unconscionable terms: Avoid extremely one-sided prenup terms (think: Lambo vs. food stamps unequal). In other words, leaving one person destitute.
- Illegal terms: Try to stay away from generally awful things, like illegal acts, while you’re at it, too. We’re talking about drug use, theft, murder, tax fraud, etc. The obvious no-nos. A court will not be upholding anything illegal, so don’t even think about it!
The bottom line: NO clauses about child support or custody, NO unconscionable terms, and NO illegal terms! Including any of these topics can get your prenup tossed out.
How does a prenup work?
Think of a prenup as your own rulebook for the “what ifs” in life. It’s about having a say in how things get divided if a divorce ever happens instead of leaving it up to state laws that might not fit your desires. With a prenup, you get to decide what’s fair for both of you, protecting the things you’ve worked hard for – your savings, your home, and even your future income that doesn’t exist yet.
Nobody wants to imagine their marriage ending, but having a prenup can make a difficult situation much less messy. You’ll have already made the tough financial decisions, which means less stress, less arguing, and potentially a faster resolution. It’s like having a guideline for the unexpected, giving you peace of mind and the freedom to focus on healing and moving forward.
It’s not about anticipating a divorce but about being prepared, just like car insurance. It’s about empowering yourselves, protecting your future, and ultimately strengthening your commitment to each other.
How to get a prenup
There are several options for getting a prenuptial agreement, including hiring a lawyer, using an online platform, or a combination of both. However, we don’t recommend that you create a prenup on your own without professional guidance. Here’s the different ways to get a prenup:
Online Platforms (Like HelloPrenup)
- How it Works: You and your partner sign up with an online platform like HelloPrenup, answer questions separately, and then work together to negotiate any differences. Based on your answers, the platform generates a tailored prenup for you.
- Pros: Yes, we may be biased, but there are tons of pros to using an online platform. It’s convenient, often more affordable, predictable pricing, and guides you through the process step-by-step.
- Good If: You’re on a budget or want a streamlined experience.
The Hybrid Approach
- How it Works: You can use an online platform for the initial draft and then have an attorney review it before you sign. HelloPrenup now offers optional Attorney Services for this exact use!
- Pros: Combines the ease of online platforms with the peace of mind of attorney legal review.
- Good If: You want some expert advice but don’t want to go the full-blown traditional lawyer route (in-person office visits, expensive bills, etc.).
Traditional Lawyer Route
- How it works: You both hire attorneys the “traditional” way, and they will draft your agreement from start to finish. This may involve office visits, lots of phone calls, expensive fees, and lots of time spent.
- Pros: It’s not all bad–hiring a lawyer has pros, too, such as getting personalized advice, on-demand assistance, and in-person communication (if that’s important to you).
- Mythbuster: Even attorney-drafted prenups aren’t foolproof – courts can still overturn them if they’re unfair or weren’t created properly.
- Good If: You have complex assets or want a very hands-on legal experience.
Takeaway: Don’t try to DIY a prenup without any help. State laws are tricky, and a poorly written agreement might not protect you at all. Any of the above options are great choices for getting a valid prenup!
What happens if you don’t have a prenup?
Spoiler alert: You already have a prenup–it’s called your state’s default law. You have two options: your state law will decide how to split your assets, or you will. And you may not like what the state default law says… For example, in Community Property states, generally, everything acquired during the marriage is split 50/50 with few exceptions. 50/50!! Are you okay with that? That ALSO (in general) means you are responsible for the debt your partner took on during the marriage 50/50, even if your name isn’t on it. Yikes!
The bottom line on prenups
We understand—talking about a prenup isn’t exactly the most exciting part of wedding planning (though… we think it is, but we miiiight be biased). But trust us, it’s a thoughtful way to protect yourselves and the future you’re building together. Think of it as a proactive step towards a stronger, more secure marriage. A prenup isn’t about anticipating the worst; it’s about taking control, ensuring clarity, and protecting what matters most to both of you. So, let’s shift the narrative! A prenup isn’t just practical – with HelloPrenup, it can even be a bit fun. Consider it an investment in open communication, mutual respect, and a love that’s built to last.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about how prenups work
Let’s get into some more of your burning questions on how prenups work!
Q: Does a prenup protect you from everything?
A: No, not necessarily. For example, you generally cannot include terms about child support and child custody in your prenup. There are also limitations to a prenup when one person dies (that is where estate planning comes in).
Q: Who benefits from a prenup?
A: ANYONE! Prenups should benefit both partners in a marriage, and they can benefit anyone–yes, even those without money. For example, people who are stay-at-home parents without an income can benefit from alimony and lump sum clauses in a prenup.
Q: What are the cons of a prenup?
A: Prenups cost money, can cause disagreement in some couples, and can be thrown out in rare instances!
Q: Do you split money with a prenup?
A: You can split money in a prenup or you can keep everything separate. How your prenup works is totally up to you and your future spouse!
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: Nicole@Helloprenup.com
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