Marriage is a sacred bond, and while love forms its foundation, practical considerations are also a huge (and important) part of the relationship, as well. The honeymoon phase only lasts so long until you are faced with the realities of a long-term partnership: money, family, children, jobs, etc. The people who are against prenups may *think* that it devalues your relationship, but we’re here to tell you how a prenup actually makes your marriage mean more. In fact, we have data to back it up: 83% of HelloPrenup customers agreed that after the prenup process they felt more connected to their future spouse.
How Prenups Make Marriages Stronger
Let’s face it, prenups sometimes get a bad rep. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The truth is, is that prenups should actually be considered marriage strengtheners. Prenups do so much for a relationship that goes unseen, and we’re here to tell you all about it.
Eliminating complex financial ties
When you get married without a prenup, you are effectively creating complex financial ties to your partner as dictated by your state law. For example, in community property states, the second you get married, all of your property becomes community property. You will now be splitting your stuff 50/50 with very few exceptions. (Read: complex financial ties). On the other hand, if you get a prenup, you can create your own rules for your finances. (Read: eliminating complex financial ties). And if you’re not bound by complex financial ties, that means every day you’re choosing to stay with your partner because you love them, not for any other reason. Aw! See? Prenups are romantic.
Reducing financial stress
Knowing that financial matters and those complex financial ties are eliminated can significantly reduce stress within a marriage. A prenup can outline various areas of financial topics, including property, businesses, debt, inheritances, gifts, taxes, insurance, and more. Making sure these different areas of financial matters are outlined and discussed is a huge stress reducer! Reduced stress = happier people. Happier people = better marriage. Prenups = the ultimate romance!
Fostering communication
The process of creating a prenup encourages couples to communicate openly about their expectations and values, fostering a deeper understanding of each other. For example, do you fully understand what your future spouse’s expectations are regarding their assets, debt, inheritances, gifts, taxes, and insurance? What about the value of their assets, the amount of debt they have, and their future inheritance values? If you don’t know the answer to these questions, then getting a prenup may be a good option for you to help facilitate these discussions.
Life planning tool
A prenup can also be known as a life planning tool because there are many aspects of a prenup that relate to what will happen DURING the marriage. For instance, how will you file taxes? What about budgets? Joint bank accounts? Social media behavior? Confidentiality? Cheating? And the list goes on. There are so many ways getting a prenup can actually be used as a tool to plan out your life together. What better way to plan for marriage than that?
Debunking Myths
Now, let’s talk to the haters out there and let them know the truth. Below we debunk common prenup myths so you can rest assured that you are making the right decision!
Prenups are planning for divorce
Whether or not you get a prenup, you already have one–it’s the default state law. So, by *not* getting a prenup doesn’t mean you are avoiding divorce. In fact, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not choosing your own rules because, guess what? If you don’t choose your fate, the state will!
Plus, prenups do a heck of a lot more than just make the rules for property division in the event of a divorce. They also dictate what should happen during your marriage, as well. This includes how taxes should be filed, what insurance coverage to have, how you will budget/save, how you will share bank accounts (if at all), and certain marital behavior (no cheating, no sharing private information, no sharing disrespectful content on social media, etc.).
Prenups are only for the wealthy
Another myth is that prenups are only for the wealthy. In reality, couples of all financial backgrounds can benefit from a prenuptial agreement, ensuring fair treatment and protection for both partners. For example, a prenup can be super helpful to a stay-at-home parent without an income. This is because they can add clauses that ensure they are covered in any situation. This may include requiring life insurance from their partner, adding in a wealth equalization clause, and making sure spousal support is an option.
Prenups mean you don’t trust each other
It’s quite the opposite, actually. During the prenup process, you are legally required to undergo something known as “financial disclosure,” which, as you can probably imagine, involves sharing all of your finances with your partner (the values of assets, income, debt, future inheritances, businesses, etc.). Sharing such intricate financial details promotes a sense of trust between each other, as it involves sharing detailed financial information known only to each other (and maybe your accountant).
Real-Life Prenup Success Stories
We sat down with real couples who utilized the HelloPrenup platform to discuss what it was like to get a prenup with their partner.
Hailey, a 25-year-old software engineer, and Ned, a 28-year-old investment banker from France, faced the accelerated decision to marry due to Ned’s expiring visa. Recognizing the need for a prenuptial agreement, Hailey initiated the conversation to ensure financial independence and clarity in their relationship. Despite their short dating period, the couple viewed the prenup as a responsible step to protect their assets and future, fostering open dialogue and maturity in their approach to marriage.
Hailey even explained how “[HelloPrenup] really helped us talk through a lot of stuff before [getting married].” She also added how the prenup process gave them the ability to talk through various topics, including one another’s financial stances, desires, concerns, and boundaries. Ultimately, strengthening their mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
Kylie, a 31-year-old designer and DJ residing in Brooklyn, New York, along with her wife, Sam, sought to establish a prenuptial agreement before their marriage. For them, practicality and ensuring mutual understanding about their future were key reasons for pursuing a prenup. Their relationship evolved from sentimental moments to practical discussions, including the decision to have a prenup due to their shared vision of a child-free life and a desire for financial security. Despite Kylie initiating the idea, both partners were on the same page, emphasizing the shift in modern relationships towards open discussions about practical matters. Ultimately, the HelloPrenup delivered the desired finalized prenup product, providing Kylie and Sam with a sense of security while transforming the prenup process into an enjoyable journey.
HelloPrenup sent a survey out to our customers asking a ton of prenup-related questions. One of those questions included, “Did you feel more connected to your partner after going through the prenup process?” The answer was unequivocally, yes. A whopping 83% of customers agreed that post-prenup they felt more connected with their partner! Thanks to a prenup, couples can approach marriage with wisdom and a sense of security ensuring that their ‘happily ever after’ becomes a tangible reality.
The bottom line is that prenups actually make your marriage mean more
Believe it or not, a prenup is not a sign of doubt in a relationship but a proactive measure to strengthen it. By addressing financial matters with transparency, couples can build a foundation of trust and security. Prenuptial agreements, when approached with openness and understanding, have the potential to make marriages more meaningful through eliminating complex financial ties, reducing financial stress, fostering communication, and using it as a life planning tool. Take it from Hailey and Ned, real life HelloPrenup users who agree that getting a prenup ultimately fostered a greater sense of understanding and trust in their relationship.
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: [email protected]
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