So, you found “the one”, but you live far apart. Despite the love and the commitment to be with one another forever, it is normal to wonder if things can ever really work out when there are miles of space between the two of you.
But don’t let those doubts get you down—long-distance relationships can absolutely work out in the long run. In fact, being apart can strengthen romantic relationships, forcing couples to be great communicators and develop skills that other couples just don’t have.
So, what can you do to make sure your long-distance relationship stands the test of time and becomes a tale of happily ever after? Here are our tips!
Communicate Often (But Not Too Much)
When you’re not physically together, one of the biggest challenges in a relationship becomes communication. Thankfully, we also live in a time where we’re able to have round-the-clock access to anyone in the world if we want.
There’s no right or wrong amount of communication in a long-distance relationship. For some couples, staying in touch throughout the day is important and crucial to their happiness. But for others, finding the time to sit down and chat every day is too much. What’s important is being open and honest with your partner about how much and how often you want to have conversations.
To keep communication on track, you can:
- Schedule times throughout the week to video chat or talk on the phone
- Send “good morning” and “good night” texts
- Use an app like Snapchat to easily share fun moments throughout the day
- Write longer emails that include all the little details a few times a week
And remember to be flexible and understanding—life is great at throwing curveballs that disrupt even the best-laid plans.
Manage Expectations
Make sure you’re both on the same page. One of the hardest things about long-distance relationships is managing the “what ifs”. But remember, you don’t have to be by a person’s side to know where you stand.
If your relationship is open, address that from the start. If you’re expecting to be living together and married within a year, that needs to be addressed as well. Knowing what each person needs and wants from the relationship allows you to be happy and feel secure moving ahead.
Focus On the Positives
It’s easy to focus on all the negative aspects of being far away from the one you love. But that doesn’t mean it’s all bad. In fact, if you dig a little deeper, you’ll probably find a few hidden positives about being apart.
When it comes to long-distance, much of your relationship is based on communication. Have you learned something new about your partner? Have you found new ways to talk and feel close that will last for years to come?
Or maybe being away from your partner has allowed you to focus on yourself and your own life. Have you taken up a new hobby? Are you taking the time to read more or head to the gym? Have you gotten closer with other friends and family members? All of those things are positives too!
Find Ways to Have Fun Together
So you can’t head out for dinner and a show on Friday night, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun long-distance date nights together! Finding activities you can do together remotely is a great way to strengthen your connection and feel together no matter how far away you are.
Here are a few fun remote date night ideas:
- Read the same book and set aside time to chat about it
- Stream the same movie or tv show while on video chat
- Listen to the same playlist and just hang out on the phone
- Play an online game together
- Cook the same meal and eat it while on the phone or video
Support Each Other’s Interests and Goals
All couples have separate lives, goals, and interests apart from their partner’s, but those are amplified when you’re in a long-distance relationship. While it can be hard to see your partner enjoying things and achieving goals without you, it’s important to support them instead of resisting them.
It’s important to encourage your partner to do the things they love and support the moves they make in their life, even if it’s frustrating at times. This skill and understanding will last far beyond the time you’re apart and serve as the building blocks for a healthy, lasting relationship.
Learn How to Be There For Each Other
With a long-distance relationship, you can’t physically be there to give your partner a hug after a long day or accompany them to stressful events and appointments. You need to find different ways to be there for each other despite the distance and show them how much you love and appreciate them.
That might mean rearranging your evening to spend some extra time on a video call after a rough day or taking a few extra minutes to check in throughout the day. Going beyond the normal expectations shows your partner that you’re truly there for them and willing to do what it takes to show support.
You might also try…
- Sending a simple gift to remind them you love them
- Buying them dinner and having it delivered to their house when you know they had to stay late at work
- Remember important events and significant dates and be the one who reaches out first
Work on Your Long-Term Plan
When the ultimate goal of a long-distance relationship is getting married and being together for the long run, you should both be ready to work on your long-term plan well in advance. Not only does this make things easier down the road, but it helps you both focus on the future instead of getting caught up in the sadness of being apart.
You might want to consider…
Living Arrangements
Will one of you be moving in with the other? Or will you both need to work together to find a new apartment or house? The process of applying for and securing housing can be a lot longer than many people think, so planning early can eliminate a lot of last-minute stress.
Career Changes
Depending on your career path, moving might mean searching for a new job or talking to your company about allowing you to continue working remotely. Plan ahead for a new job or work changes so you’re not stressed about it at the last minute.
Protecting Your Assets With a Prenuptial Agreement
As you both move to merge your worlds together, it’s a smart idea to create a prenup. This extra piece of marriage insurance simplifies the process if you ever get divorced, but it also encourages honest and open communication as you prepare to get married and live life together. If either of you has your own business or children, it also protects them once you tie the knot.
Being in a long-distance relationship isn’t always easy. It takes work, time, and dedication to be a happy couple. But no matter how many miles are between you, your relationship can absolutely be a happily-ever-after story.
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected].
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