So, you’re thinking about getting a tattoo with your partner? What better way to show your love and devotion than getting inked with a mark that lasts forever? Just look at Kelly Ripa, who has a tattoo of the date she married her husband of twenty-six years, Mark Consuelos. But then again, there’s Pete Davidson, who had to get creative with how to cover up his tribute tattoo to Ariana Grande after the pair broke up.
Tattoos can be an enduring way to signify your love and commitment to your partner; or a painful reminder of what once was, depending on how your relationship pans out. Before tattooing your partner’s name, initials, or favorite quote on your skin, you should consider a few things.
Think It Over Carefully
You’re in love, and sure it’s meant to be, so why not make it official with a tattoo?! Before you visit the nearest parlor, devote some serious thought to whether or not getting a tattoo with your partner is a good idea.
Getting a tattoo in general is a big deal! From actually getting it to after care, it’s important that you find the most high quality artist to consult before getting your piece. But before you hand over the big bucks, let’s talk about some things you should consider.
What’s the Significance?
We probably don’t have to tell you, but a tattoo is permanent, sort of. Sure, you can get it removed or cover it up, though both can be costly and painful. Therefore, choosing something with a special meaning is a good idea.
Selecting a tattoo with significance helps to ensure it’s something you’ll be happy with for years to come. Picking a fad, like a famous saying or even a band you’re really into, can be something that you’re not so proud of looking back on in the future.
You want to choose something meaningful to your relationship, but not only based on your significant other’s tastes and preferences. If they’re really into felines and you’re not, getting matching cat tattoos probably isn’t the best idea. The tattoo should be meaningful to you both while also signifying your relationship.
Choosing something that is special to both of you but can also make sense if you had it just yourself is the best bet!
Some trends that have been going around are small letter right above you elbow, the wrist, or on your ribcage. Going into a tattoo shop that you can find with a quick search, you’ll be quickly greeted with a multitude of flash sheets (pre drawn tattoos usually at a fixed price) that you can decide on with your partner right then and there!
Instead of a tattoo, you could always get jewelry, a classic choice that isn’t permanent. Removable accessories like rings, charms, or even bracelets can be worn daily to symbolize your love without being embedded in your body forever.
If you’re set on getting tattooed with your partner, consider smaller tattoos in a discrete location. Tasteful tattoos that can be covered with clothing if you choose can help take the pressure off such a huge commitment. The recent rise in UV or white tattoos is excellent for couples too! They’re less obvious but meaningful to those who know they’re there. Not to mention since they’re almost invisible, you won’t have to worry about getting it removed (ouch!) or covering uncomfortably covering them up when going on a first date!
There are even temporary tattoos now that use biodegradable ink and fade over a series of months, this could also be a good option to test our before going for the real thing if your apprehensive about the idea.
Could it Put a Strain Your Relationship?
Believe it or not, tattoos can put a strain on your relationship; especially if the other person isn’t entirely on board with getting one in the first place. People change and sometimes your relationship needs to be put to rest, but if you have a tattoo with your partner, you might be more likely to stick it out which can be detrimental for both of you.
A tattoo is a huge commitment; it’s there for life. After you’ve been inked with a matching couple tattoo, every little hiccup in your partnership can be worrisome. What if this argument ends the relationship, and then you’re stuck with her initials on your arm? Even the smallest and most simple tattoos can place a lot of pressure on your love.
It also doesn’t hurt to think about future relationships, just in case. Say you break up and meet someone new and amazing. Then you have to have a conversation about how you have your ex’s name tattooed across your lower back – awkward. That might undoubtedly strain a budding romance.
Just like getting engaged, partner tattoos aren’t something that should be entered into lightly. If one or both people aren’t genuinely ready, your symbol of undying love could cause the relationship to die out.
What If Your Partner Says “No”?
You may have thought about getting a tattoo with your partner, but what does your significant other think of the idea? Showing up with a tattoo and expecting your partner to go and get a matching one probably won’t be a happy surprise.
What if your partner says no, they don’t want a tattoo? Inking their body in an ode to you isn’t their love language. If you’ve already done the deed, they may be upset you got something so permanent in honor of them without hearing their opinions first.
This is where communication is essential. You and your partner should regularly be talking about things in your lives, from the mundane to the meaningful. Getting matching tattoos is an important topic that necessitates a discussion.
Don’t spring it on your partner when they’re rushing out the door for work or preoccupied with cleaning the house for guests. Wait until they’re calm and not pressed for time. Go into the conversation with an open mind; they may be opposed to the idea or request more time to think about it.
You’ll likely need more than one conversation, which is excellent! This gives you time to think about the significance and decide if it is something you both truly desire.
To Tattoo or Not To Tattoo?
Getting a partner tattoo is a huge decision. One study found that 17% of people with a tattoo regret them, the biggest reason being “it’s the name of another person.” Though tattoos are trendy, the tattoo removal industry is growing by 19% yearly. There have also even been instances where tattoo artists refuse to do couple tattoos, along with face tattoos, because of the risk of having to deal with a disgruntled client who then needs a cover up.
But! On the flip side, this can be a great opportunity to share a special piece of art with your partner and you’ll have a good story to tell!
If you’re not ready to commit at the moment, commemorating your relationship with a gold old fashion ring can be a safer bet. If you do decide to get inked, be sure you’ve had conversations with your partner and put lots of thought into the what, where, and why. And, you know what they say, opposites attract, so maybe get a tattooed together with a design that’s significant to you instead of your partner. You’ll still get the bonding experience without the pressure of a permanent relationship reminder.
The Future of Your Relationship
If you’re looking to pop the big question or are already engaged – it makes sense that you would want to make this investment into your relationship and although getting a tattoo can bring a lot of uncertainties one thing that can help when you DO get married is a prenup! A prenup can give you complete peace of mind when going into this lifelong agreement with your best friend, outlining how assets would be divided in the event of a divorce. Not to say that this is betting against your marriage, it’s just giving you that extra piece of insurance that a tattoo can’t. With HelloPrenup you can create a fast, easy, and affordable prenup all from the comfort of your own home, curious about how it works?
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here 🤓 Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected]