Divorce is on the rise.
Single parents are multiplying like bunnies.
Children are living in two homes instead of one (to compensate for co-parenting).
But marriage is still a thing. Why?
Why are we so attached to the idea that love is forever and our soul mate is aggressively swiping for us on this same exact dating app too?
With so much data stacked against us, what is the point of becoming a singular being in the eyes of the law?
Doesn’t it make sense to just be like Oprah and Steadman and just cohabitate indefinitely? Or Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes?
Shouldn’t we just have kids together and change our last names so we all have the same name on our backside at our little league games?
Potentially – yes.
But what if we told you that marriage is arguably healthier for you then if you two were to never do it at all?
Sure, divorce is traumatic for you, the kids, and your pets, but what about the benefits of going for it anyways?
Was Bey terrified to drop her solo album after being with Destiny’s child for 16 years? Most definitely. Did she go off to have one of the greatest solo careers of all time? Damn right.
Did Bill Gates drop out of college to start a wildly successful software company? Yes. Was that risky? Perhaps. Did it pay off? Absa-fricken-lutely.
Mark Zuckerberg (for those of you living under a giant rock), CEO and founder of Facebook, said “it’s risky not to take chances in a world that’s changing really quickly and a sure proof strategy to fail.”
For every risky scenario, there’s the bad. There’s the ugly. But there’s also the really, really good.
We did the heavy research for you so you and your partner can rest assured that getting engaged was an excellent step towards doing one of the greatest financial, emotional, and intellectual decisions of your lifetime: getting married. Here’s why.
You’ll actually live longer
If you’re the “live fast die young” type, this may not be the most impressive news, but for the rest of us, this is quite inspiring.
According to CityJournal.org, married people live longer and healthier lives, with the power of marriage being obviously more evident in late middle age. Lina Waite analyzed mortality differentials among men and women nationally and found that nine out of ten married guys at age 48 will make it to age 65 while only 6 out of ten single guys (while accounting for race, education, income and health).
For women, nine out of ten wives will live into their senior years, while only eight out of ten single ladies will make it into their senior years.
Most shockingly, statisticians Bernard Cohen and I-Sing Lee found that “being unmarried is one of the greatest risks that people voluntarily subject themselves to.”
They found that:
>> Having heart disease reduces a man’s life expectancy by approximately 6 years, while being unmarried chops almost ten years off a man’s life
>> Sick people who are married live longer than unmarried counterparts
>> Having a spouse lowers a cancer patient’s risk of dying from the disease as much as being in an age category ten years younger
>> Scientists found that happily married couples have better-functioning immune systems than divorced people
What did we learn?
Marriage brings upon health and happiness when taken seriously. By finding a compatible person to spend your life with, you’re ultimately setting your selves up for a healthier life overall, just by simply saying “I do.”
You’ll each earn more money
This may seem counterintuitive because now there’s a table for two, instead of one, for every. Little. thing.
We’re talking two glasses of wine at dinner (per person, don’t be greedy). Two cars in the garage (that both need tanks of gas or to be charged). Twice as many groceries, and perhaps twice as many “to do’s” since the “honey do list” just never seems to end while married.
However, the same study from CityJournal found that men make 40% more money than their single counterparts, even after compensating for their education and job history. This study also found that there was correlation between marriage duration and income received, where the longer a man was married, the greater his premium increased.
Though, the elephant in the room does need to be addressed.
Wives also benefit from being married in that their incomes grow faster than their single lady friends, but decline when they become mothers due to the traditional expectations that women will handle the childrearing and care needed to take care of the kids.
Individually, without childcare as a variable, husbands and wives seem to have greater income earnings than their single counterparts and at this point, seem to be much happier as well.
As a couple though, married people not only make more money together (than if they were to just stay friends and single). This comes down to the fact that two incomes make for one less headache each when it comes to being able to pay the bills. The CityJournal reported that married people are less likely to report “economic hardship” or inability to meet bills, than those cohabitating while staying friends.
This same study found again that duration also played a role in the longevity of their wealth – as in, being married longer meant exponentially making more money as you grew into old age. CityJournal reported that married couples who were close to entering retirement had accumulated assets worth roughly $400,00 compared with the $167,000 for the never married, and the $154,000 for the divorced.
So what does this mean? Yes, there are two mouths to feed, twice as many showers being had. But overall, after bills have been paid and needs have been met, the married couple was much better off individually and overall.
**Side note: the data is also showing that if you were planning to go the gold digger route and marry someone for their money then file for divorce, you’re better off just staying married to the love of your life (who may have much less earnings, but a lot more stability).
Your mental health will be better overall
This may seem subjective and controversial, but the data says what the data says, so bear with us and let’s dive in.
According to (you guessed it!) CityJournal, married men and women are
>> less depressed
>> less anxious
>> mentally better off than their single, divorced, or widowed friends
To top it off, divorce actually
>> lowers men and women’s mental health stability,
>> increases depression, and
>> projects lower self-esteem and sense of purpose in a person’s life.
The study even concluded that for most people, bachelor and bachelorette lives, along with being divorcees, are much less likely to report being happy compared to their married counterparts.
>> 40% of married people reported to be “very happy”
>> 18% of single/divorcees reported to be “very happy”
So even though it might be hard to be happy with your spouse 100% of the time, the data shows that you will be exponentially happier in the long run if you two are compatible enough to be married.
You’ll have better sex – seriously
Yes, when you have a spouse, it’s a lot easier to get laid considering you’re literally laying next to each other day in and day out. But the data from our favorite friends at CJ also point out that its the quality of the sex that really deems beneficial.
>> divorced women were the least likely to have a sex life
>> single men are 20 times more than married men likely to not have had any sex within the past year
>> single women are 10 times more likely than single women to not to have had sex even once within the past year
Couples even reported that their overall sex life not only existed, but was also extremely satisfying.
>> 50% of husbands said sex with their partner is extremely satisfying physically compared to the 39% of single or cohabitating men
>> wives reported being twice as likely to have a sex life that is emotionally satisfying compared to their single or cohabitating counterparts
So basically, a legal document that provides the government with legally binding information on your life actually amplifies your sex life too.
Prenups provide clarity, stability, and longevity
The typical knee jerk reaction is that prenuptial agreements (prenups) actually deter couples from being in a happy relationship.
Is the prenup being enforced because of previous infidelity?
Are the partners entering the marriage insecure and need proof or collateral to keep each other faithful?
Is one spouse just entering the marriage for assets or an income?
Sure – there are people who do things for the wrong reasons, but the majority of people are getting prenups because they want to do the right thing for the right reasons.
Prenups provide clarify where there is so much confusion.
>> Who’s stuff is what?
>> What happens if we get divorced?
>> Who gets to keep the house if we separate?
>> Are we going to share all of our money or keep it separate?
>> What about our debt? Separate or community property?
By getting on the same page (literally) you’re forcing yourselves into really tough conversations that too many couples face when it’s too late. Prenups help couples get a head start on their marriage by setting rules and expectations prior to the marriage in order to set themselves up for mental, financial, and physical success.
HelloPrenup is built on the foundational principles to keep happy couples married and safe for the duration of their lives. With a prenup, you’re setting you and your partner up to be ready for any situation that may arise due to unforeseen circumstances (like death and divorce).
Whether its your mental health or your financial wealth that you’re worried about, get a prenup. It will help both of you get on the same page so you can start your marriage with confidence that it’ll be the best investment in your health, your wealth, (and your sex life).
Need help getting started? Start your free account today and invite your partner. Our questionnaire is aimed to give you two clarity and focus on your individual marriage (instead of a boilerplate prenup that can be downloaded online and lacks your own pain points).
We want to see you two happy and healthy. So when you draft your prenup, think about Bey and Gates and ask yourselves “what would life be like if they didn’t take their risks?”
Reach out for any additional details at [email protected]. Cheers to getting married – for our health, our wealth, and our overall well being.
XO, HP ????
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected].
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