For many couples, planning a wedding is a dream come true—a chance to celebrate their love surrounded by family and friends. Yet, alongside the excitement and joy, wedding planning can also be an emotional rollercoaster fraught with stress. You’re not alone if you’re wondering why such a celebratory occasion can feel so overwhelming. In fact, 94% of people felt stressed during wedding planning. Here’s a breakdown of why wedding planning is so stressful and how to manage the pressure.
#1: Unrealistic expectations
Cultural ideals strongly influence what we define as “standards.” Social media. Movies. Pinterest boards. Friends. All these things, intentionally or not, create a picture-perfect image of what a wedding “should” look like and how it’s done quickly (doesn’t anyone have a job?!). Even without meaning to, we may compare ourselves to these curated images.
A wedding is a joyful occasion for both the couple and their loved ones. However, it can create a dynamic where other parties become too invested and open with their thoughts, suggestions, and ideas. Couples often feel the need to cater to others, and while there may be valid reasons, this can increase stress and cause conflict.
Tips to combat the stress:
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- Get back to basics and clearly define what you want most at your wedding. Explore your values and write down the top 5 things you want your wedding to include or be (and be specific!)
- Remove unhelpful influence. Unfollow accounts (or at least minimize how many you follow), cancel those bridal magazine subscriptions or give yourself a set time each day to view these things.
- Decrease the number of people you speak to and get feedback from. Know yourself and what constitutes a supportive network; it may be several people or only 1 or 2 trusted individuals.
- Create boundaries early and hold firm. Share your appreciation for their ideas and feedback with others, but also state your boundaries. For example, “Thanks so much for those ideas, and I can’t wait to celebrate with you all. Jory and I already have the ball rolling, but I’ll reach out if anything changes.”
- Consider realistic expectations with your partner and include them early on. For some, parents may provide financial assistance, and expectations (from the couple and parents) should be verbalized early to ensure everyone is on the same page.
#2: Financial strain
Weddings are expensive. According to data from the registry site Zola, the average wedding in the U.S. in 2024 was $33,000. $33,000. On average. If that doesn’t cause your blood pressure to rise, I’m not sure what will! Rising costs are a major contributor to wedding planning stress. Many couples feel that they are making concessions purely due to financial constraints.
However, no matter the cost of your wedding, when spending reflects what truly matters to you and your partner, the emotional weight of wedding planning often feels lighter. This happens because when our actions align with our core values, there’s less inner conflict (what we call cognitive dissonance). When that tension is minimized, it becomes easier to feel at peace with your choices and fully embrace the process’s joy.
The other decision that often arises is how wedding costs will impact debt concerns. Many couples may feel pressured to take on debt to afford their “dream” wedding, which has various long-term impacts.
Tips to combat the stress:
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- Create a detailed budget and prioritize what matters most. Don’t be afraid to cut costs on items that don’t align with your vision.
- Dream together and share your financial goals now for your life after the wedding. Knowing those goals now can help you decide how much you can or want to budget for your wedding and help motivate you to slash the budget where you need to.
- Consider alternatives like an intimate gathering, elopement, or receptions at the family home to focus on your love and decrease extravagant spending. You can also be creative in the timing of your wedding, knowing you may have more time to save and/or get better pricing for booking in advance.
#3: Decision fatigue
The minute you begin wedding planning, you may feel inundated with decisions. You’re not alone! From venues to flower arrangements to dessert choices, there are more choices today for couples planning a wedding than in the past. The vast number of choices quickly creates decision fatigue.
And every decision may feel monumental, especially if the fear of making the “wrong” choice creeps in. That fear of regret is a powerful trigger for stress and anxiety. With the decision fatigue and worry level, it is also more likely that catastrophizing may occur; that’s when you go from a situation to the worst-case scenario. Something like feeling paralyzed about making an entree choice because, “What if we choose something and no one eats… and then everyone is grumpy because they’re hangry, no one dances, the whole reception is a disaster, and we lose our friendships!” You can see how that fear quickly spiraled out of control!
Tips to combat the stress:
- Narrow down options by setting clear priorities early on.
- Remind yourself that no single decision will make or break your wedding day. To begin with, refocus on why you’re doing this!
- Lean on each other and help by making decisions together or splitting the decision-making so one person isn’t holding too much.
- Pull in professional support. Looking into wedding planners (there are different packages to help with financial constraints) who can help take some decisions off your plate or shift through them to bring the ones that need your attention.
#4: Emotional clashes
Weddings bring all the emotions to the surface. For many, the feelings that arise can feel intense, surprising, overwhelming, or confusing. Your emotional experiences may be different than you anticipated, or the frequency of the emotional rollercoaster is giving you whiplash.
Family conflicts can cause significant emotional turmoil in the wedding process. Longstanding family tensions (which you may know of or not) can surface – disputes over the guestlist, cultural traditions, or wedding roles. Family members may also be processing the change (e.g., child growing up, new family members), and how well or poorly they do that can be impactful.
Even the strongest couple may find themselves arguing over wedding details due to differences in priorities or decision-making style. The stress can also compound over time, making it hard to make decisions, become emotionally reactive more easily, or engage in non-beneficial coping strategies like avoidance.
Tips to combat the stress:
- Approach conflicts with empathy and clear communication. When needed, set boundaries to protect your mental well-being.
- Use wedding planning as an opportunity to practice compromise and teamwork. Identify conflict resolution strategies to practice.
- Schedule regular check-ins to ensure you’re on the same page.
- Check-in with your emotions by regularly identifying your emotional experience, what may be triggering it, and how to address it. This will help to avoid emotional buildup!
- Create a safe space to protect your emotional well-being. Whether that is self-care strategies or stronger boundaries, protecting your mental health is key!
#5: Time management challenges
Wedding planning can be a full-time job, but for most couples, wedding planning happens in addition to a full-time job, family obligations, and personal lives. Juggling responsibilities can lead to burnout.
It’s common to see individuals cope with planning stress by procrastinating or avoiding it. It’s easier to delay making a decision or completing a task than to face the amount of stress it may trigger. However, that stress doesn’t simply go away; instead, it accumulates over time until it eventually overflows at inopportune moments or in ways that feel disproportionate to the situation.
Tips to combat the stress:
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- Delegate tasks to trusted friends, family members, or a wedding planner.
- Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.
- Create a timeline with a specific deadline to help with each task. This can help provide clarity, make it easier to see when various tasks need to be addressed and prevent a rush due to time crunch.
- Break down larger tasks into small steps to make them more manageable.
- Take breaks to help decrease any anxiety or worries that may keep you from beginning or finishing a task.
#6: Unforeseen challenges
Vendor problems can add unexpected stress from unexpected cancellations to miscommunications at the least opportune times. Unexpected challenges may also come from the weather, especially if your dream wedding is outdoors or at a time of the year when the weather is more unpredictable. There are an infinite number of unforeseen challenges that can arise, and that alone can add to the stress of wedding planning.
Tips to combat the stress:
- Have contingency plans and maintain open communication with vendors to minimize surprises.
- Always have a backup plan for outdoor events, such as a tent or an alternative indoor venue.
- Take a more flexible approach and go into the wedding planning with the mindset that unforeseen events will occur.
#7: Life changes
Your lives are changing. And no matter how excited you are for it, having the full spectrum of emotions as you enter this significant commitment is normal. Communication styles, decision-making tactics, coping strategies, resolution management skills… all these are tested during this process and can give you a different view of your partner. Those views may bring up questions about the match or longevity of the marriage, adding immense pressure to “fix” things.
Tips to combat the stress:
- Reflect on the deeper meaning of your wedding and marriage. Journaling, therapy, or heart-to-heart talks can help.
- Remember that your marriage will be built over a lifetime, not in a single day. Focus on the relationship, not just the event.
Final Thoughts
Wedding planning is undeniably stressful, and the hits may feel like they just keep coming. But you’re not alone, and you don’t have just to feel stressed; there are ways to help manage, minimize, or even avoid a degree of stress! You can create a celebration that reflects your love and commitment by managing expectations, setting boundaries, and staying focused on what truly matters. Utilize this unique opportunity to strengthen your partnership and learn beneficial stress-managing strategies. Remember, the end goal isn’t a flawless wedding but a joyful start to a lifetime together.
Dr. Vivian Oberling is a licensed clinical psychologist with degrees from UCLA, Harvard, and Stanford. In her private telehealth practice, she works with adults navigating anxiety, identity shifts, and relationship dynamics—whether they’re dating, partnered, or parenting. She also provides executive coaching and behavioral health advisory support to tech startups and legal tools reshaping how we think about love, marriage, and psychological safety. Dr. Oberling combines 10+ years of clinical expertise with modern, real-world insight to help people move through uncertainty with clarity and connection.
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