Relationships are hard work and need nurturing, just like a plant needs some loving words and water. This is even more true for surrounding any big relationship decision, such as deciding to get a prenup. While a prenuptial agreement can offer valuable legal and emotional (yes, emotional) protections, it may also have an impact on a couple’s relationship. In this blog, we will explore some tips for maintaining a healthy relationship after a prenuptial agreement is signed.
Understanding the Purpose of a Prenuptial Agreement
Before we dive into the tips for a healthy relationship post-prenup, it’s essential to understand the purpose of a prenuptial agreement. A prenup is a contract between two future spouses that outlines how a couple’s assets will be divided if a divorce or separation were to occur. It can also address other issues, such as debt, spousal support, and inheritance.
There are a few main purposes of a prenuptial agreement:
- To protect both parties assets,
- Ensure that the divorce or separation process is as smooth as possible
- Facilitate open communication, AND
- Align emotionally with life goals and expectations.
Abide by the Terms of your Prenup
One way to maintain a healthy relationship is to make sure you’re following the terms of the agreement and not violating the contract! Not only can that have legal implications, but it may upset your partner (and rightfully so because you two previously agreed on certain obligations).
There may be terms within the prenup that apply to your life starting the day that you get married, such as confidentiality clauses, maintaining joint bank accounts, and filing joint taxes. Yes, you can usually include any of those things in your prenup, and they dictate your behavior DURING the marriage, as opposed to what happens in a divorce.
Keep lines of Communication Open
An extremely important aspect of any healthy relationship is, of course, communication. If you have fears, concerns, questions, comments, etc., about the prenup or conversations around the prenup, you should bring them up to your partner. It won’t do you any good to keep those things bottled in.
Be Respectful
It’s essential to be respectful of each other’s feelings and opinions, and this is true whether or not you have signed a prenup! Along the same vein of open lines of communication, both parties should have the opportunity to express their concerns and opinions without fear of judgment or criticism. It’s essential to listen to each other and try to understand each other’s points of view. By being respectful, you can build a strong foundation for your relationship and ensure that you both feel valued and appreciated.
Seek Professional Advice
If you’re struggling to navigate the complexities of a prenuptial agreement and/or life after signing one, it can be helpful to seek professional advice. A couple’s therapist can provide valuable insights and help you understand your options. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate effectively and maintain a healthy relationship. This may include different exercises or conversations to do with your partner.
Keep Your Relationship a Priority
Don’t forget to treat your relationship like a top priority, regardless of whether or not you have a prenuptial agreement. Make time for each other, prioritize your relationship, and continue to show love and affection. Just because you have a prenup doesn’t mean that all bets are off. No, you should continue to treat your relationship like a small plant. It needs water, kind words, and a good environment to thrive!
Be Flexible
Life is unpredictable, and circumstances can change. It’s essential to be flexible and willing to adjust the prenuptial agreement if necessary. Both parties should be open to revisiting the agreement if circumstances change. That doesn’t mean that either party should be forced to agree to the new changes. No, of course, you and your partner should both be comfortable with the outcome and should voice your needs in the discussion. But keeping the option on the table to make changes is a great way to stay flexible.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about maintaining a healthy relationship after a prenup is signed
Don’t worry if you’re left scratching your head still; we’ve gathered a few frequently asked questions for you below.
Q: Do prenuptial agreements always lead to divorce?
A: No, prenuptial agreements are simply legal documents that provide a framework for how assets should be divided in the event of divorce. They don’t necessarily mean that divorce is inevitable. Think about it like this: when you purchase hurricane insurance on a house, does it mean that it’s going to happen? Not necessarily!!
Q: What happens if my partner isn’t following the terms of the prenup during the marriage?
A: The best way to go about this is to first try talking to them. If that doesn’t work, you may want to consider couples therapy. Your last resort would be to file for divorce and ask the court to enforce the prenup.
Q: What happens if my partner isn’t following the terms of the prenup after the marriage ends?
A: If you or your partner has already filed for divorce, what happens if your partner doesn’t follow the terms of the agreement? Well, at this point, you’ll need to either negotiate with them or ask the court to enforce the prenup terms by filing a complaint.
Q: Does a prenup lose its effect after a divorce?
A: Not necessarily. There are some terms of a prenup that may last indefinitely. For example, a confidentiality clause may be in effect “forever and ever” even after you’ve been done with the marriage for years.
Q: Can prenuptial agreements be changed after they are signed?
A: Generally, states will allow amendments to prenups with certain stipulations. As long as both parties agree and certain formalities and requirements are met, it’s usually acceptable. Again, this is a state-by-state matter.
Q: What should I do if I’m uncomfortable with the idea of a prenuptial agreement?
A: If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of a prenuptial agreement, it’s important to communicate your concerns with your partner and seek professional guidance from a therapist and/or attorney. Ultimately, the decision to sign a prenuptial agreement is a personal one that should be based on open and honest communication.
Conclusion
In conclusion, maintaining a healthy relationship after a prenuptial agreement is signed is not difficult! By abiding by the terms of the agreement, keeping lines of communication open, being respectful, seeking professional advice, prioritizing your relationship, and being flexible, you can build a strong foundation for your future together. Remember that a prenuptial agreement is just one aspect of your relationship and shouldn’t overshadow the love and commitment that brought you together in the first place.
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: [email protected]
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