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The Harvard Happiness Secret: Marriage (and Prenups!)

Apr 3, 2025 | marriage

Have you ever wondered what the secret to lifelong happiness really is? Spoiler alert: it’s not money, fame, or career success. According to the classic Grant Study from Harvard University—which tracked hundreds of people throughout their lives—the true key to happiness lies in meaningful, high-quality relationships. These relationships can include friendships, family, or romantic partnerships, and this study supports the concept that nurturing these connections can profoundly impact your well-being. 

I must admit it sounds like the value of a prenup in your marriage is (basically) supported by science. Prenups help couples feel closer together (83% of HelloPrenup couples say so) by facilitating tough conversations, aligning on goals, and ultimately creating a deeper connection to your future spouse. Let’s get into the Grant Study and how prenups can foster happiness. 

What is the Grant study?

The Grant Study began back in 1938 as one of the longest-running studies on human development and happiness, tracking 268 Harvard sophomores throughout the course of their lives. Researchers collected extensive data on participants’ physical and emotional health, relationships, careers, and general life satisfaction through different periods. While the study provides invaluable insights into human happiness, it’s not without its critics. The original participants were exclusively male and from affluent backgrounds, which raises important questions about how widely its findings apply. Despite these limitations, the Grant Study’s comprehensive, decades-long approach offers powerful evidence of the central role that relationships play in achieving lasting happiness. 

The Grant study’s methodology

Participants were carefully chosen from Harvard University between 1938 and 1942, including 66 students from the classes of 1939 to 1941 and another 202 students from the classes of 1942 to 1944 (among the recruits was eventual President John F. Kennedy!). Over time, some participants withdrew or passed away, but researchers continued collecting extensive data through questionnaires, psychological tests, medical exams, and even interviews with participants’ wives.

Data collection started during the participants’ college sophomore year and continued regularly thereafter. Participants received annual questionnaires until 1955, and subsequently, questionnaires every two years. Comprehensive physical exams were conducted periodically, and participants’ wives contributed their perspectives through separate questionnaires, further enriching the study’s depth and breadth. Topics explored included everything from social history, personality, psychological well-being, and intellectual functioning to physiological health and biographical details. This detailed and extensive approach provides an unmatched look at how life’s various factors shape long-term happiness and satisfaction.

Key findings from the Grant study

According to Robert Waldinger, current director of the study and a professor at Harvard Medical School, one particularly surprising finding is how profoundly our happiness and health are shaped by our relationships. “Taking care of your body is important,” Waldinger explains, “but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too.”

These findings clearly show that close relationships—not money, status, or even genetics—are central to happiness and longevity. Strong relationships protect us from life’s inevitable challenges, help delay physical and mental decline, and are more predictive of a happy, fulfilling life than IQ or socioeconomic status.

Happiness in marriage matters

On a personal level, I am fascinated by studies like the Grant Study because they confirm something important about relationships in today’s world. Dating has become increasingly commoditized, divorce rates are climbing, and overall marital satisfaction is dropping. In this environment, solid, data driven understanding is essential. Studies like the Grant Study clearly demonstrate how meaningful relationships—especially marriages—are fundamental to happiness and overall health. 

 

What the Grant study revealed about marriage and happiness

So, what exactly did the Grant Study reveal about marriage and happiness? At its core, the research consistently shows that a strong, supportive marriage is one of the biggest predictors of lifelong happiness and health. Participants who enjoyed happy marriages reported significantly better emotional health, lower depression rates, and even lived longer compared to those who were less satisfied in their marriages.

Marital satisfaction as a predictor of later life health

One standout insight from the study was the importance of emotional intimacy within marriage. Couples who openly shared their deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences reported greater overall life satisfaction. Additionally, partners who approached life’s challenges together—communicating effectively and supporting each other—managed stress better and sustained happiness in the long run.

The Grant Study specifically highlighted that marital satisfaction at age 50 was a particularly strong predictor of health outcomes later in life, including better cognitive functioning and lower rates of chronic disease. Participants who reported strong, emotionally supportive relationships with their spouses also showed greater resilience in dealing with life’s setbacks and had fewer health issues in old age.

The protective benefits of strong marriages 

Additionally, the study revealed that individuals who maintained consistent marital happiness experienced significantly slower declines in memory and cognitive function as they aged. Strong marriages were found to offer protective benefits, even against common mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression.. Moreover, researchers observed that participants who reported less satisfaction in their marriages often experienced earlier onset of health problems and higher rates of loneliness in older age.

Bottom line: the Grant Study clearly underscores that investing in your marriage isn’t just good for your relationship—it’s essential for lasting happiness and long-term health.

The surprising connection between happiness and prenups

You might wonder how this study fits into this narrative of prenups. At first glance, prenups can seem purely practical or financial—but they’re actually an incredible tool for sparking important conversations that every couple needs to have before walking down the aisle. 

Prenups open the door for honest discussions about money management, such as whether you plan to keep finances separate, merge them, or find a hybrid approach to managing money. Prenups help you tackle topics such as communication styles, so you both feel heard and valued (if you need help on how to approach the prenup convo, check this out). And they make room for conversations about your shared future, whether it’s deciding where you’ll live, exploring how you want to raise your children, or discussing family boundaries. 

For example, whether your in-laws moving in is a welcomed idea or a definite no-thank-you. For instance, imagine discovering early that your partner dreams of living close to their parents, while you’re picturing a nomad lifestyle and adventure abroad. Maybe you realize that you have different religious beliefs you want to observe when raising children. Talking through these issues proactively, with a prenup as your guide, can transform potential friction points into opportunities for mutual understanding and long term happiness. 

The bottom line on the Grant study and its connection to prenups 

Ultimately, the decades-long findings of the Harvard Grant study emphasize the importance of having strong relationships, particularly marriages, on long-term health, happiness, and well-being. And one way to foster communication and grow trust in a marital relationship is to get a prenuptial agreement. It sets the stage for a stronger, happier marriage. The exact kind of meaningful partnership the Grant study shows is essential to a happy life.

You are writing your life story. Get on the same page with a prenup. For love that lasts a lifetime, preparation is key. Safeguard your shared tomorrows, starting today.
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