If your partner has brought up creating a prenup before you get married, there’s likely to be a lot of thoughts running through your mind. Having the prenup talk his seen as negative, as prenuptial agreements have gotten a bad rep in the past. Perhaps you feel like your partner asking for a prenup shows they’re not sure about the upcoming marriage. Or maybe you feel like it’s asking for failure. There are many ideas and beliefs surrounding prenups but let’s dissect what being asked for a prenup really means!
If your fiancé has asked for a prenup, don’t let these false beliefs or myths cloud your judgment. Despite the age old stereotypes about prenups from other generations, amongst millennial couples, a prenup is no longer considered a “bad thing”. Nowadays, creating a prenup can do the opposite and can help set you and your fiancé up for a solid, long-lasting marriage.
Take it from New York family law attorney Lisa Zeiderman:
“Don’t be afraid to propose a prenup! The discussion you will have putting it together can bring you closer as a couple.”
Before you shut down your partner’s idea for a prenup, it’s essential to consider all of the benefits. There just might be benefits you have not even thought about! If you’re in question about if a prenup is right for you, just remember that you don’t have to be rich for a prenup to protect you. Gathering the facts and the reality around a prenup will help you make the best decision for your new partnership.
Validate your Concerns
Before you can move forward in the decision-making process, it’s important to validate your feelings. It’s normal to be concerned or worried about the idea of a prenup. If you feel guilty about your concerns, it will make it difficult to decide with a clear mind. Therefore, it’s important to remember that both you and your partner are entitled to your own opinion. In some cases, these viewpoints might differ greatly. You may already be aware of your partners communication style, but by identifying and asking about love languages, you can communicate in the most efficient way on important subjects such as this!
If you’re in a situation where you and your partner don’t see eye to eye, both you and your partner will need to come to a compromise. In doing that, you both need to express your feelings and listen clearly, without attacking each other. Check out 5 ways to communicate with your partner here to prepare you for the prenup talk!
Prenups Help Both Parties
A common misconception surrounding prenups is that they’re one-sided. However, this could not be further from the truth. A prenup is beneficial for both parties in a relationship, not just one. For that reason, it’s called a prenuptial agreement, as it is an agreement signed by both equal partners in the relationship.
You’re likely wondering how a prenup could help you too. To begin with, couples who navigate the prenup process find they have better and stronger communication skills. While it can be hard to see how a prenup could bring you and your partner closer, it’s quite common. Many couples find they feel more confident about the status of the marriage after creating a prenup agreement. This is likely because talking about a prenup helps you and your partner get on the same page about your future, including finances, goals, and more!
Creating a prenup protects your concerns and needs just as much as your partner. The purpose of creating one is to ensure that both parties are treated fairly, should a divorce ever happen. Creating a prenup is not saying that you’ll ever need the document at all. It’s an “insurance policy” designed to help make sure you’re treated fairly if something unforeseeable occurs (a divorce).
Before you write the idea of a prenup off, familiarize yourself with the popular misconceptions and myths surrounding prenups. This includes things like “prenups are only for the wealthy” or “prenups are too expensive”. These claims are not true, as prenups protect parties in all situations including second marriages, marriages with children, pets, and business owners.
Prenups Offer Control
What you might not know about prenups is that creating the agreement can offer you a sense of control at the end of your marriage. No matter how close you and your partner are, there’s simply no way to know entirely what the future holds. Creating a prenup helps ensure both parties are protected in the event of a divorce. This includes things like your inheritance, your assets, debt, and more.
Without a prenup in place, decisions regarding the division of assets in a divorce can get messy. These important decisions may be left to the courts to decide. This could leave you feeling powerless and lacking control over decisions about your own life. Maybe a family court judge decides something you think is unfair. To prevent this, creating a fair prenup can help you and your partner have the final say in what happens if you divorce. For many people, this is a primary reason they agree to a prenup.
Talk it Out
The decision to create a prenup agreement is not always easy. It may not be something that you and your partner decide on in an instant. The conversation may take days, weeks, or even months to come to a final compromise. Both parties in a relationship need to understand that certain people may need time to think and ponder the idea.
It may take time for you or your partner to come around to the idea of a prenup agreement. If you go into the process knowing that, you’ll be far more prepared. The decision to have a prenup before marriage should not be taken lightly. Give it the time, attention, and research it deserves before making a final decision.
A prenup is an agreement that can set you up for success in your future so remember to give it real consideration. Triggering these conversations in your relationship may seem destructive but contrary to popular belief, prenups can bring you closer together. If conversations around prenups are putting a strain on your relationship, make sure to make time for yourself to check in on where the roadblock may be.
Prenups are Not Bad
If your partner has asked you for a prenup, you’ve got a lot to consider. While it’s normal to feel hurt or worried, consider the points made above before making any quick decisions. Take some time to think over the idea, before making assumptions. Do some research on prenups to make informed decisions. As you do, you may find your perceptions of a prenup change.No matter what you decide, at least you and your partner can feel confident you’ve made your decision with a clear head.
Decided on moving forward with a prenup? Do it the easy way with HelloPrenup to prepare a personalized prenup agreement for you and your fiance in no time. To learn more, check out our FAQ section.
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected]