Having the ‘talk’ can be hard. And no, we’re not talking about ‘the talk’ from 8th grade. We’re talking about the all-important talk regarding a prenuptial agreement to be created between you and your future spouse.
Although in an ideal world every talk regarding a prenuptial agreement would be easy, the simple truth is that for some couples it is a tough conversation to have. However, as with many things in life, a situation being hard or awkward doesn’t mean it can or should be avoided. On the bright side, there are quite a few ways to ensure that discussing a prenup with your partner can be as lighthearted and calm as possible. And, of course, there is plenty to look forward to. One of our favorite ways to do so is by having ‘the talk’ while out on a date. Here are some of our favorite date ideas that will take the prenup talk from frustrating to fun, and some thigs to look forward to once you and your fiance are on the same page.
Here Are a Few Date Ideas:
While most of our recommendations are general activities, Top Golf is the sole exception. Thanks to its innovative take on the traditional driving range, Top Golf offers something for everyone in the form of interactive games. If you live in a city with a Top Golf, it can be a great option if you’re looking for a place to have ‘the talk.’ Whether you’re a good golfer or absolutely terrible, Top Golf’s various games will make it so you and your partner can hit some balls around, chat in between rounds, and have food and drinks.
If Top Golf isn’t an option, your local mini golfing or putt putt center offers a similar environment for lighthearted fun. While the average putt putt place isn’t nearly as high-tech as the expansive Top Golf domes, there is still tons of fun to be had. Talking about a prenuptial agreement is most successful when both parties feel at ease. An activity where you can speak amongst yourselves and simultaneously enjoy some friendly competition is one that can (almost) never go wrong.
Being active is a common theme on our list, and that’s because it’s always good to get your blood flowing — whether or not there’s a prenuptial agreement to be discussed. The endorphins will have you feeling good, which is why bowling is another one of our favorite date ideas to make ‘the talk’ less awkward. Bowling is a low-intensity activity that allows you to have a moderate amount of privacy (so long as you reserve your own lane). It’s worth noting, however, that bowling alleys can get quite busy when leagues are there. Pick a weird time a day — or call before stopping in — to ensure that it’s not a league night. That way you and your partner don’t have to worry about being unable to hear each other over the clamoring voices, balls, and pins.
Adulting can be overwhelming — especially when you’re dealing with responsibilities like prenups, wedding planning, work, and the general hustle and bustle of life. Take a break from it all and head to a theme park with your spouse, where you can laugh with reckless abandon and enjoy rides with childlike wonder. And of course, you can talk about things you may want to include in your prenup. Let’s be real: discussing finances and assets is a lot easier when you can do so while enjoying funnel cakes and slushies!
Going to a brewery or on a wine tour is a fun way to step out of the day-to-day grind and enjoy a romantic date — chock-full of productive conversation. You and your partner can sip and let loose a little bit, therefore making ‘the talk’ a relaxed conversation (as opposed to an awkward, emotionally charged one).
Anything that’s sentimental
Being sentimental and romantic is never a bad idea — especially when things are tense. Going to a place that is incredibly sentimental to you and your partner — like the location of your first date or perhaps your favorite restaurant — will ensure that you are both in your comfort zones when having an important conversation like ‘the talk.’
Enjoying some valuable one-on-one time at a cool date locale is priceless and will inherently make ‘the talk’ more positive. Not to mention, if you and/or your partner have strong personalities, being in public will keep things from getting heated as you delve into what you each want (and do not want) out of a prenuptial agreement.
Now, you’re going to need to keep your eye on the prize in order to get through this conversation. Discussing your prenuptial agreement, much like anything in a successful relationship, involves intentional action and understanding. With the help of these fun date ideas, and keeping in mind all to celebrate afterwards, you and your partner can focus on the important stuff — while still prioritizing quality time and your emotional connection.
Related read: How to Deal With The Backlash of a Partner Who Doesn’t Want a Prenup
When all is said and done, here are a few things to look forward to after you and your future spouse have signed on the dotted line.
Signing a legal document may not seem like cause for celebration, but by all means it is! Completing the prenuptial agreement process means that you’ve taken a huge step forward in your relationship and tackled an important task. By all means, you and your partner should go out to eat, grab cocktails, enjoy a bottle of wine on the couch while watching your favorite show together, or do whatever it is that you love doing with one another. No matter what that may be, you can do so while celebrating a major ‘win’ in the wedding planning process. (And yes, your prenuptial agreement is a pivotal step in the wedding planning process.)
It’s time for a huge sigh of relief. The hard stuff is over! Well, at least some of the hard stuff. Oftentimes the best things in life aren’t tangible, and peace of mind is definitely one of those things. Whether you and your partner were on the same page from the get-go or had to iron out a lot of things along the way, one thing is for certain: signing your finalized prenuptial agreement means that this is a potential stressor that can hit the road — and never come back!
Increased feeling of partnership
The prenuptial agreement process is most successful when both partners feel heard. Keep in mind: a prenup isn’t about one person ‘winning’ or benefitting more than the other partner. Instead, it’s about ensuring that both partners feel confident entering the marriage in an equitable and agreeable fashion. Marriage is the ultimate partnership, and navigating the prenuptial waters should have you and your future spouse feeling like a stronger couple than ever. If at any time it doesn’t feel that way, you and your partner should have a heart-to-heart and get back on the same page. You two are a team, and this process should solidify that fact.
The big day!
Last but surely not least, finishing your prenuptial agreement means that it’s full steam ahead. It’ll be easier (and more exciting!) than ever to look forward to the big day and know that all of your bases are covered. Your impending wedding was the impetus for the prenuptial agreement anyways, so embrace the fact that your document(s) have been signed. Before you know it you’ll be marrying the love of your life!
Related read: Things You Should Talk About As Soon As You Get Engaged
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected]