When most people think of prenuptial agreements, they think of spreadsheets, awkward conversations, and maybe a few episodes of Real Housewives. But for stay-at-home moms, a prenup isn’t just a financial contract it can be a powerful tool of protection and foresight. After all, stepping away from a career to raise children is an enormous act of love and labor. It can also come with major financial trade-offs. That’s why a prenup tailored to your needs is not only smart, it’s essential.
You are right to do research before jumping into the prenup process! Because, despite the emotional and economic value your work brings, many prenups still treat stay‑at‑home contributions as an afterthought. But what should I include in my prenup as a stay-at-home mom? And, how do I talk with my partner about finances? Keep reading to find the answers to your questions and to learn how to make sure your prenup is designed to honor both your present role and your future possibilities.
CEO of the home
Here’s a more accurate title for you, stay-at-home moms: You’re the CEO of your home. As Chief Executive Officer of your home, you manage the household budget, drive children to and from activities and appointments, create, register for, and juggle said activities and appointments, you provide the constant, ever-present emotional stability that children crave, you feed and nurture your children and spouse, you keep the house in order…the list goes on and on. You do not work a standard 9-5 job. Your hours are 24/7, and your labor, though unpaid, is the foundation on which your entire family’s well-being is built. On top of the benefits your family receives from having YOU as the CEO, you and your spouse are saving hundreds to thousands of dollars a month on childcare expenses.
What clauses should I include in my prenup?
In many marriages where one spouse pauses a career, a well-crafted prenup provides structure for support and a specific roadmap for the future. A prenup can include many different provisions that will help protect you in case your marriage ends in divorce. When considering which clauses might be right for you, think about which areas might give you the most anxiety if you knew a divorce was imminent in the future. Is it whether or not you get to stay in the marital home? Is it a lack of savings or a retirement account? Here are some clauses to consider including in your prenup.
Wealth equalization clause
An equalization clause (aka “lump sum payment clause”) can provide a financial cushion in the event of divorce. This type of clause specifies a fixed amount of money one spouse will pay the other if the marriage ends. If you’ve been out of the workforce for years, raising kids, re-entering the job market won’t be instant or easy. An equalization clause can help offset the financial stress of being a newly single parent trying to find a job.
In your prenup, you can choose that this fixed amount is paid upon the finalization of divorce, or that the money will be paid only if certain milestones are met like the birth of a child, number of years out of work, or simply the amount of money is based on the number of years in the marriage. You can also include stipulations such as “this lump sum amount will only be paid if the marriage lasts longer than five (5) years.” Equalization clauses are enforceable in most states so long as they are clear, not severely unfair (i.e., unconscionable), and were entered into voluntarily.
Periodic payments
Instead of one large payout, some couples prefer periodic payments. This is monthly or annual support after divorce. This can mimic alimony (aka “spousal maintenance” or “spousal support”) but can be customized to your needs. You might structure payments to continue for a fixed number of years, until your youngest child reaches adulthood, or until you’re able to re-enter the workforce.
Phasing in separate property
Your prenup can include a provision where separate property gradually becomes marital property over time. Basically, transforming what starts out as one person’s sole asset into something shared jointly based on milestones or the length of the marriage. For example, if your spouse owns a home prior to marriage, your prenup could state that once you’ve been married for 10 years, his separate property home becomes marital property and will be subject to division if there’s a divorce. This clause gives you time to feel more comfortable with the longevity of the marriage before giving over valuable separate property while simultaneously creating more marital property than state default laws might.
Alimony
Many people waive alimony (aka “Spousal support”) in a prenuptial agreement. This is not advisable if you’re a stay-at-home mom who’s dependent on your spouse. If you sign a waiver, then you will lose this financial support if the marriage ends, regardless of whether you have children together. This means you might continue being the primary caregiver without financial support from your spouse outside of state-mandated child support payments. Don’t waive alimony in your prenup, and talk with your fiancé about setting a specific minimum alimony payment, possibly based on a percentage of your partner’s income at the time of divorce. It’s smart to be proactive regarding alimony as some states such as Texas, rarely award alimony if the spouse is capable of working outside the home. Als,o be aware that some states, like California, won’t enforce provisions that attempt to waive or limit future alimony unless both parties had independent legal counsel (Cal. Fam. Code §1612(c)).
Timeline
Outlining a timeline for post-divorce payments can prevent future arguments. Language in a prenup can stipulate when the payments start and stop. For example, a periodic monthly payment can cease once the stay‑at‑home spouse finishes a degree, secures full-time employment, or once the children graduate from high school. This clarity protects both parties, ensuring fairness without perpetuating dependence.
Let’s use another example to help illustrate this point. If you and your spouse decide that the working spouse will pay the stay-at-home spouse $50,000 upon divorce, language in the prenup can specify that this payment must be paid within 60 days of the finalization of divorce. Clear timelines make enforcement easier and minimize misunderstandings, especially in high-stress situations.
Primary residence clause
Many stay‑at‑home parents feel deeply rooted in the family home and want reassurance that they can stay in the home during separation and for a specific time after the divorce, especially if the children live there. A lot of uncertainty and fear can come with the financial stress associated with housing costs once a couple goes their separate ways. A stay-at-home parent might not have the financial means to secure commensurate housing immediately after the divorce for themselves and the children.
Clarifying timing and terms around a residence, such as retaining the family home during transitional periods, can provide emotional and logistical stability. A prenup can outline what happens to that home during a divorce. Will it be sold and the proceeds split? Will you have the right to live there for a certain number of years, especially if you’re the primary caregiver? You can also clarify who covers the mortgage or rent post-split. This clause can provide a significant peace of mind.
Future education and career pathways
Taking time out from paid work doesn’t erase your career goals; it simply pauses them. A great prenup can make space for your future by including clauses that fund continuing education or retraining. Whether it’s finishing your degree, getting a certification, or pivoting into a new field, you and your spouse can agree now on a set amount of funds that will go toward that goal should the marriage end. Not only does a clause like this give you peace of mind going into your child-rearing years, it provides a clear path to financial empowerment if the marriage ends.
Debt responsibility
Whether or not you’re a stay-at-home parent, clarifying who’s responsible for joint and separate debt upon divorce is important language to include in a prenup. That student loan debt you had entering the marriage, or the real estate debt your spouse incurred dabbling in a new industry, whatever the damage, all debt needs to be paid eventually. Your prenup can stipulate who is responsible for what. Without a prenup, you could end up being liable for debt racked up during marriage that you didn’t even know existed. Have a conversation at the outset of your life together to determine who will be responsible for which financial obligations if the marriage were to end in the future.
Your prenup could state that all premarital debt stays with the debtor and that all debt incurred during the marriage is marital debt, and you’re both equally liable. But, if you have a feeling that your partner is risky with finances and might be likely to incur significant debt during your marriage, consider stating that debt incurred during marriage follows the party who incurred that debt, and that the other party is indemnified and held harmless from those financial obligations. Check your gut on this one.
Retirement accounts
Stay-at-home spouses don’t always have retirement savings in their own names, especially if they’re not earning income. If one spouse’s 401(k) grows while the other stays home, a prenup can help you ensure balanced long-term security. Language in your agreement can accommodate for this balance in many ways, like stipulating that the working spouse contributes to a spousal IRA, or that retirement accounts will be divided a certain way. Courts often divide funds in retirement accounts earned during marriage as marital property anyway, but a prenup gives you the chance to proactively structure the split. This type of planning and foresight can be a game-changer.
Health insurance & life insurance
Health insurance can be a huge financial concern, especially if you’ve relied on your spouse’s employer-provided coverage. A prenup can require one spouse to maintain health coverage for the other for a set period post-divorce, or to cover COBRA premiums. While courts can’t always force a person to keep their ex on insurance indefinitely, you can agree to cover costs as part of the financial settlement. Also, make sure to talk with your spouse about what you both want to do regarding life insurance policies. If children are involved, it would be wise to require one or both spouses to maintain life insurance with the stay-at-home parent as the beneficiary. If the stay-at-home parent is also the primary caregiver, they probably don’t bring in sufficient funds to care for the children if the working spouse or ex-spouse were to pass away.
Beneficiary status
Many people forget to update beneficiary designations on life insurance or retirement plans after marriage or divorce. A prenup can clarify who the intended beneficiary is especially if you want the stay-at-home spouse or your kids to remain on the policy. But if you make specifications in your prenup regarding beneficiary designations, make sure to also update your life insurance or retirement plan to match the prenup language. Reach out to your plan administrator to find out which form(s) you need to fill out. Tending to these details can avoid messy court battles and ensure your wishes are carried out in the future.
The bottom line on prenups for stay-at-home moms
Choosing to focus on creating a home, raising a family, and supporting your spouse’s career is work that’s real and deserves legal recognition. You should recognize the value you bring to the table in your marriage, and a prenup tailored for stay‑at‑home moms shows that you acknowledge each other’s contributions and want to build a foundation that supports both growth and emotional safety.
Talk with your fiancé about finances before you’re married. And if you’re already married, then sit down with your husband and be honest about your concerns. You can try to say something like, “I’d like to talk about our finances and understand what we have so that I can feel comfortable and know what the plan is.” Other scenarios, such as the incapacity or death of the sole breadwinner and person who has all the passwords and bank accounts, can make life even more difficult.
Understanding what assets and debts you and your husband have, what banks you use, and the passwords and methods of viewing and accessing these accounts is critical to family planning and to your financial future. Marriage is a partnership, and if you’re about to enter or are already in a marriage that feels one-sided where your partner holds all of the decision-making power…it’s time to re-define your roles and balance-out your partnership. Now tell your partner to give you a high-five! Because in starting these financial conversations now, you are preventing a financially stressful future full of resentment and regret. Well done!
Jourdan Stewart is Legal Operations Attorney at HelloPrenup, and a Texas licensed attorney. Jourdan is experienced in drafting prenuptial agreements, and her legal expertise extends to other aspects of family law, business law and entertainment law. Jourdan earned her law degree from Pepperdine University, her MBA from The Acton School of Business, and her BBA from Baylor University. Jourdan’s favorite aspect of legal practice is helping clients fully understand and achieve their goals. She finds great satisfaction in tailoring solutions to each client’s unique set of wants and needs. When she’s not practicing law, Jourdan can be found in nature with her two children and their dog, Stewey.
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