Money doesn’t have to be the elephant in the room. While those first money talks might feel less romantic than your honeymoon, they’re essential for a healthy relationship. Plus, couples that merge finances in some way tend to be happier, according to studies. So, let’s discuss the importance of honesty about finances, the plus-sides of splitting expenses, and the ways to find an approach that works for you as a couple.
Strategies for splitting expenses
Couples need to find what works for them when it comes to finances. Here are some common approaches:
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The Real-Time 50/50 Split: Each partner pays half of all expenses in real time. This entails 50/50 dinner bills, venmo-ing each other for payments as they come up, etc.
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The Monthly Reimbursement 50/50 Split: Sit down every month (perhaps at your monthly money date?) and figure out who owes the other what.
- The Alternating 50/50 Split: This may not end up coming out to 50/50 every month, but overtime, it will surely even out. Take turns paying the bill by simply alternating who puts their card down for each payment that arises.
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Income-Based Percentage: Couples contribute a set percentage of their income, ensuring each partner shares the burden equally relative to their means. A joint expense account is often used with this method.
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‘Pay What You Can’: Bills are divided up based on what each partner can realistically afford. Communication is key to ensuring all expenses are covered.
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‘All In’ Strategy: All income is pooled in a shared account, and both partners have access. Trust and clear budgeting are crucial with this method.
Important Note: Open communication about finances is essential for any of these systems to succeed. Choose the strategy that best suits your needs and fosters a sense of fairness and teamwork.
Navigating financial discussions: Key considerations
Before splitting expenses, address these potential challenges openly:
- Income Disparity: If one partner earns significantly more, consider splitting costs based on income percentage to ensure fairness.
- Unexpected Expenses: Create a joint emergency savings plan to handle life’s surprises and define what qualifies as an emergency.
- Paying for Outings: Decide in advance how to handle shared costs like dates (alternating, income-based, etc.) to avoid awkwardness.
- Financial Mismanagement: If one partner struggles with money, discuss support strategies, boundaries, and how it will impact shared expenses.
- Decision-Making: Choose who takes the lead on financial matters based on skills, not just income level. Discuss how big decisions will be made jointly.
- Non-Earning Partner: If one partner doesn’t earn income, consider ways they can contribute, such as taking on more household responsibilities.
The bottom line on splitting the bill
In summary, splitting expenses as a married couple is an important aspect of having a stable relationship, especially when you’re living together. However, sharing bills with your spouse may not be your jam, and it’s okay! You and your partner will need to come to an agreement (before marriage) and discuss finances, expenses, debt, and how money will be handled in your relationship. In a study, the number one conflict that drove their marriages apart was finances. Avoid conflict and any money issues with your spouse, and have an honest and open conversation. Prepare, plan, budget, and seek professional help if needed.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about splitting expenses
Q: My partner earns more than me. Is a 50/50 split fair?
A: This is a personal question–every couple may have different circumstances leading to different answers. You could consider an income-based percentage for a more equitable approach.
Q: Who should pay for unexpected expenses?
A: It depends on your relationship dynamics, income, and personal preferences. You can also opt to create an emergency fund together to cover surprises.
Q: Who pays for dates and outings?
A: Try deciding in advance (taking turns, the higher earner pays, etc.) to avoid awkwardness.
Q: My partner is bad with money. How will this impact shared finances?
A: Set clear boundaries and expectations. Consider if providing support is realistic for you.
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: [email protected]
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