Did you know that 1 in 9 Americans has tried polyamory? Polyamory (more commonly known as a “throuple”) is a non-traditional way of engaging in relationships where individuals have multiple partners and maintain multiple romantic and sexual relationships simultaneously. But is it legal? How does it intersect with marriage and domestic partnerships? Let’s discuss what you need to know about polyamory and domestic partnerships and how they can work together.
What is polyamory?
Not many people know what polyamory really means and often confuse it with other terms. So, let’s define what we mean by polyamory before diving in.
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Simple Definition: Polyamory is the practice of having multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. In other words, it’s having multiple partners at once, but it’s not considered cheating.
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Polyamory vs. Polygamy: Polyamory is NOT polygamy. There is a major difference. Polygamy is having more than one spouse at a time, which is illegal in all 50 states.
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Gender Inclusivity: Polyamorous relationships can involve people of any gender identity. For example, a polyamorous relationship can be three women, two women/one man, three men, etc.
In what states is polyamorous marriage legal?
There is no state that permits polyamorous marriage. It is illegal in ALL states. Why? Because of the potential for abuse of marital benefits, breakdown of societal norms, and potential for unrest. However, in a few different counties in Massachusetts, you may be able to get your polyamorous relationship registered as a domestic partnership. This is different than a marriage in several ways and doesn’t allow for the same benefits. (More on this below).
Domestic partnerships explained
A domestic partnership is a legal status for unmarried couples seeking some official recognition of their relationship. Benefits of a domestic partnership may include:
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- Healthcare access (partner’s insurance)
- Inheritance rights
- Medical decision-making for your partner
- Note: The specific benefits available depend on your local laws.
The bottom line: Domestic partnerships are NOT the same as marriage. They typically offer fewer benefits and have different legal requirements. The availability also depends on your state.
Polyamory and domestic partnerships
Polyamorous marriages are not currently recognized in the United States anywhere. You can only be legally married to one person at a time. However, there are a limited handful of cities in the U.S. that allow for domestic partnership recognition of a polyamorous relationship.
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Domestic Partnership Polyamorous Relationships:
- Limited Availability: Only a few cities, including Somerville and Cambridge, Massachusetts, allow registering polyamorous relationships for domestic partnerships. Keep in mind this is NOT on the state level, so you cannot get a domestic partnership in any city in MA–only in these places.
- Recent Development: This is a relatively new ordinance, primarily driven by healthcare access needs during the COVID-19 pandemic.
- National Landscape: In most states, domestic partnerships only apply to unmarried couples with two people, not polyamorous relationships.
Takeaway: You can only get your polyamorous relationship legally recognized with a domestic partnership in a few towns in Massachusetts.
How polyamorous domestic partnerships work in Somerville, MA
Here’s what you need to know about the polyamorous domestic partnership ordinance in Somerville, MA.
Important caveat: This is a city-level change, not statewide. This means that if you live in Boston, MA, you cannot get your polyamorous domestic partnership registered. You have to be a resident of Somerville.
Polyamorous Domestic Partnership Rights in Somerville:
- Access to Children’s Schooling: All partners in the partnership can access school records, attend events, etc. For example, if your partner’s child has a school event, one of the members of the polyamorous registered domestic partnership may attend.
Possible (But Not Guaranteed) Benefits:
- Employee Benefits: Some employers within city limits may extend benefits to polyamorous domestic partners, but it’s not mandatory on the employer’s behalf. Outside of the city, is especially unlikely.
- Travel, Hospital Visits, Other Local Matters: Potential benefits exist for things like hospital visits and travel but can depend on individual businesses or institutions. For example, if you want to visit one of your partner’s at a local hospital in Somerville, you may be able to do so. However, if you travel out of Somerville to a different hospital, you may not have this right there.
What’s NOT Included:
- Taxes: Filing jointly isn’t an option.
- Immigration Status: This ordinance won’t impact immigration processes. For instance, you can’t register a polyamorous domestic partnership with a foreign national and then expect any access to immigration benefits.
- Federal Benefits: There is no access to federal programs or benefits.
How polyamorous domestic partnerships work in Cambridge, MA
Again, Cambridge, MA, has granted the right for polyamorous couples to obtain a domestic partnership. Remember, these rights are granted by the city of Cambridge, so their reach is limited compared to state or federal benefits.
Polyamorous Domestic Partnership Rights in Cambridge:
- Hospital and Correctional Facility Visits: Within the city, partners have visitation rights.
- Access to Children’s Schooling: Partners can interact with the school on behalf of the child.
- Non-Discrimination Protections: Within Cambridge, partners are protected from discrimination in areas like housing and employment.
Possible (But Location Dependent) Benefits:
- Employee Benefits: Some employers within the city may extend benefits to polyamorous domestic partners.
- Travel, Hospital Visits: Outside of Cambridge, your rights may vary depending on other regulations.
What’s NOT Included:
- Taxes: No changes to how you file taxes.
- Immigration Status: This ordinance doesn’t impact immigration.
- Federal Benefits: No changes to federal programs or benefits.
Bigamy laws and polyamorous domestic partnerships
Beware of bigamy laws. “Bigamy” means being married to more than one person. Some states have anti-bigamy laws which explicitly restrict being married to more than one partner. However, some states actually extend this prohibition on bigamy to domestic partnerships, as well.
Examples of states with bigamy laws restricting a polyamorous domestic partnership:
- California: Penal Code Section 284 was amended to say that anyone who enters into a marriage or registered domestic partnership with someone who is already married/domestically partnered has committed a felony. This could be punishable by a fine ($5,000) or imprisonment. (Note: this law is technically different from bigamy, which is when someone marries someone while they are still married. This is the opposite, but still very similar).
- District of Columbia: Section 22-501 in the Code of the District of Columbia states that you cannot enter a domestic partnership if you’re already in a domestic partnership (or marriage). If you do, you will be guilty of bigamy and will be imprisoned for two to seven years.
Important Note: Laws in this area are complex and can change. It’s crucial to consult an attorney for legal advice specific to your state and situation.
Can a polyamorous relationship get a prenup?
No. The long and the short of it is that you cannot get a prenup for a domestic partnership. Prenups are only valid after a legal marriage takes place.
An alternative may be cohabitation agreements for domestic partnerships. Caveat: How a polyamorous domestic partnership coincides with a cohabitation agreement is unclear since the legalization of polyamorous is so new and limited to only two cities in the U.S.
Conclusion
Polyamory and domestic partnerships have a long way to go in terms of legalization in the U.S. Currently, there are only two cities that have legalized it (Cambridge, Massachusetts, and Somerville, Massachusetts). In those places, there are some legal protections provided, but they may only extend to the local government level since they are not necessarily recognized on the state and federal level (yet). The word on prenups? They’re a no-go for domestic partnerships, but cohabitation agreements might be an option – it’s unclear exactly on how that would work given that polyamorous domestic partnerships are so new on the legal horizon.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about polyamory and domestic partnerships
Q: Can I form a domestic partnership with multiple partners?
A: Yes, but only in two cities in Massachusetts. Even then, there are major limitations since this is on a local government level, not a state or federal level.
Q: What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy?
A: Yes, there is a difference. Polygamy is when one husband has multiple wives (i.e., legal marriage is involved), and polyamory is having multiple partners/relationships without marriage. Polygamy is illegal, but polyamory is not. In other words, the government says, “You cannot legally marry multiple partners, but if you want to have a relationship with multiple partners, we can’t stop you.”
Q: What legal protections are available to polyamorous individuals?
A: There may be some domestic violence protections for polyamorous people in certain states, but for the most part, the only legal protections that exist are in the two Massachusetts cities in which polyamorous domestic partnerships are legalized.
Q: Do I need to live in Cambridge or Somerville in order to register as a domestic partnership?
A: No, and you don’t even need to be a citizen of the U.S. either! The only thing required is an ID.
Q: What is required to register as a polyamorous domestic partnership in Cambridge and Somerville?
A: It’s generally a matter of filling out a form (name(s), date of birth(s), signatures) and declaring that you are in a committed relationship, you are not blood relatives, you haven’t been in another domestic partnership within the last 90 days, and you’re competent. After that, all you have left is to notarize it and mail it to make it official.
Q: Can I register a polyamorous domestic partnership in Cambridge or Somerville and then live in another city or state?
A: It depends, but you may risk violating a criminal law. Some states may have bigamy laws (or similar laws) that consider it a crime to be in a polyamorous domestic partnership. Those states include California, Colorado, Maryland, Washington, Wyoming, and District of Columbia.
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: Nicole@Helloprenup.com
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