Did you know that ONE in NINE Americans has tried polyamory? Polyamory (more commonly known as a “throuple”) is a non-traditional way of engaging in relationships where individuals have multiple partners and maintain multiple romantic and sexual relationships simultaneously. But is it legal? How does it intersect with marriage and domestic partnerships? Let’s discuss what you need to know about polyamory and domestic partnerships and how they can work together.
What is polyamory?
Not many people know what polyamory really means and often confuse it with other terms. So, let’s define what we mean by polyamory before diving in.
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Simple Definition: Polyamory is the practice of having multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
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Key Distinction: It’s NOT cheating. All partners openly agree to this relationship structure.
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Forms of Connection: Relationships within polyamory can be emotional, intimate, or a combination.
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Gender Inclusivity: Polyamorous relationships can involve people of any gender identity.
Domestic partnerships explained
A domestic partnership is a legal status for unmarried couples seeking some official recognition of their relationship.
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Benefits May Include: (These vary by state, so it’s important to research your specific area)
- Healthcare access (partner’s insurance)
- Inheritance rights
- Medical decision-making for your partner
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Key Distinction: Domestic partnerships are NOT the same as marriage. They typically offer fewer benefits and have different legal requirements. The availability also depends on your state.
Polyamory and domestic partnerships: How they work together
Polyamorous marriages are not currently recognized in the United States anywhere. You can only be legally married to one person at a time. However, there are a limited handful of cities in the U.S. that allow for domestic partnership recognition of a polyamorous relationship.
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Domestic Partnership Polyamorous Relationships:
- Limited Availability: Only a few cities, including Somerville and Cambridge, Massachusetts, allow registering polyamorous relationships for domestic partnerships.
- Recent Development: This is a relatively new ordinance, primarily driven by healthcare access needs during the COVID-19 pandemic.
- National Landscape: In most states, domestic partnerships only apply to unmarried couples with two people, not polyamorous relationships.
How polyamory and domestic partnerships work in Somerville and Cambridge
These two Massachusetts cities made history as the first in the US to offer legal recognition for polyamorous relationships through domestic partnerships.
What Sparked This Ordinance: The push for this change came during COVID-19, when healthcare access became a major concern for polyamorous families.
Flexibility is Key: Interestingly, partners don’t have to be exclusively romantic. This allows for different relationship setups, including platonic “lifemates” or even expanding an existing romantic partnership.
The Catch: If the idea was to get more people access to healthcare, then the big question is whether health insurance companies will play along with this new type of domestic partnership. That’s something couples will need to navigate.
The ordinance fine print (Somerville)
Here’s what you need to know about the polyamorous domestic partnership ordinance in Somerville, MA.
Important caveat: This is a city-level change, not statewide. This means the granted rights are fewer than those in a traditional marriage or domestic partnership.
Guaranteed Right:
- Access to Children’s Schooling: All partners in the partnership can access school records, attend events, etc.
Possible (But Not Guaranteed) Benefits:
- Employee Benefits: Some employers may extend benefits to polyamorous domestic partners, but it’s not mandatory.
- Travel, Hospital Visits, Other Local Matters: Potential benefits, but depend on individual businesses or institutions.
What’s NOT Included:
- Taxes: Filing jointly isn’t an option.
- Immigration Status: This ordinance won’t impact immigration processes.
- Federal Benefits: No changes to federal programs or benefits.
The ordinance fine print (Cambridge)
Again, Cambridge, MA, has granted the right for polyamorous couples to obtain a domestic partnership. Remember, these rights are granted by the city of Cambridge, so their reach is limited compared to state or federal benefits.
Guaranteed Rights:
- Hospital and Correctional Facility Visits: Within the city, partners have visitation rights.
- Access to Children’s Schooling: Partners can interact with the school on behalf of the child.
- Non-Discrimination Protections: Within Cambridge, partners are protected from discrimination in areas like housing and employment.
Possible (But Location Dependent) Benefits:
- Employee Benefits: Some employers within the city may extend benefits to polyamorous domestic partners.
- Travel, Hospital Visits: Outside of Cambridge, your rights may vary depending on other regulations.
What’s NOT Included:
- Taxes: No changes to how you file taxes.
- Immigration Status: This ordinance doesn’t impact immigration.
- Federal Benefits: No changes to federal programs or benefits.
Bigamy laws and polyamorous domestic partnerships: What to know
Beware of bigamy laws. “Bigamy” means being married to more than one person. Some states have anti-bigamy laws which explicitly restrict being married to more than one partner. However, some states actually extend this prohibition on bigamy to domestic partnerships, as well.
Examples of states with bigamy laws restricting a polyamorous domestic partnership:
- California: Penal Code Section 284 was amended to say that anyone who enters into a marriage or registered domestic partnership with someone who is already married/domestically partnered has committed a felony. This could be punishable by a fine ($5,000) or imprisonment. (Note: this law is technically different from bigamy, which is when someone marries someone while they are still married. This is the opposite, but still very similar).
- District of Columbia: Section 22-501 in the Code of the District of Columbia states that you cannot enter a domestic partnership if you’re already in a domestic partnership (or marriage). If you do, you will be guilty of bigamy and will be imprisoned for two to seven years.
Important Note: Laws in this area are complex and can change. It’s crucial to consult an attorney for legal advice specific to your state and situation.
Can a polyamorous relationship get a prenup?
No. The long and the short of it is that you cannot get a prenup for a domestic partnership. Prenups are only valid after a legal marriage takes place.
An alternative may be cohabitation agreements for domestic partnerships. Caveat: How a polyamorous domestic partnership coincides with a cohabitation agreement is unclear since the legalization of polyamorous is so new and limited to only two cities in the U.S.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about polyamory and domestic partnerships
Q: Can I form a domestic partnership with multiple partners?
A: Yes, but only in two cities in Massachusetts. Even then, there are major limitations since this is on a local government level, not a state or federal level.
Q: What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy?
A: Yes, there is a difference. Polygamy is when one husband has multiple wives (i.e., legal marriage is involved), and polyamory is having multiple partners/relationships without marriage. Polygamy is illegal, but polyamory is not. In other words, the government says, “You cannot legally marry multiple partners, but if you want to have a relationship with multiple partners, we can’t stop you.”
Q: What legal protections are available to polyamorous individuals?
A: There may be some domestic violence protections for polyamorous people in certain states, but for the most part, the only legal protections that exist are in the two Massachusetts cities in which polyamorous domestic partnerships are legalized.
Q: Do I need to live in Cambridge or Somerville in order to register as a domestic partnership?
A: No, and you don’t even need to be a citizen of the U.S. either! The only thing required is an ID.
Q: What is required to register as a polyamorous domestic partnership in Cambridge and Somerville?
A: It’s generally a matter of filling out a form (name(s), date of birth(s), signatures) and declaring that you are in a committed relationship, you are not blood relatives, you haven’t been in another domestic partnership within the last 90 days, and you’re competent. After that, all you have left is to notarize it and mail it to make it official.
Q: Can I register a polyamorous domestic partnership in Cambridge or Somerville and then live in another city or state?
A: It depends, but you may risk violating a criminal law. Some states may have bigamy laws (or similar laws) that consider it a crime to be in a polyamorous domestic partnership. Those states include California, Colorado, Maryland, Washington, Wyoming, and District of Columbia.
Conclusion
Polyamory and domestic partnerships have a long way to go in terms of legalization in the U.S. Currently, there are only two cities that have legalized it (Cambridge, Massachusetts, and Somerville, Massachusetts). In those places, there are some legal protections provided, but they may only extend to the local government level since they are not necessarily recognized on the state and federal level (yet). The word on prenups? They’re a no-go for domestic partnerships, but cohabitation agreements might be an option – it’s unclear exactly on how that would work given that polyamorous domestic partnerships are so new on the legal horizon.
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: [email protected]
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