One of the most common misconceptions I hear is the belief that a prenuptial agreement, commonly referred to as a prenup, automatically increases a couple’s chance of divorce. The short answer? No, a prenup does not automatically increase your risk for divorce. Let’s jump in and explore the psychological aspects of prenups and their impact on a relationship.
What is a prenup?
A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that outlines the division of assets and financial responsibilities in the event of a divorce and sometimes death. Planning is not causality; a prenup is a plan designed to minimize conflict in various possibilities. A prenup typically includes:
- Asset Protection: Prenups safeguard personal assets acquired before and during marriage and clarify what is or is not under these limitations. For example, protecting a house you purchased before marriage or an inheritance you get during the marriage.
- Debt Responsibility: Whose debt are you responsible for? A prenup lays out financial responsibilities and protects each other from debt accrued individually. Without a prenup, you could be responsible for your partner’s debt.
- Alimony/Spousal Support: Alimony (also called spousal support) is payments made to support an ex-spouse in a divorce. A prenup can eliminate or modify one or both spouses’ right to ask for alimony if a divorce ever occurs.
- Business Protection: Building a business takes blood, sweat, and tears. Prenups can protect individual companies, family businesses, and professional practices.
That’s not all! Prenups can do so much more, like protect your confidentiality and social media image, and they can even protect against infidelity in some cases. Here’s some more info on clauses a prenup may contain.
Busting prenup myths
There are so many things people get wrong about prenups. Here are three common misconceptions people have about prenups:
Misconception 1: Prenups are only for the wealthy
Prenups have historically been associated with wealthy and high-profile divorces (e.g., movie stars, heiresses). But that is a thing of the past! Prenups can benefit couples of all financial backgrounds, no matter how long you have been dating.
Misconception 2: Prenups signal a lack of trust
At its core, a prenup does not necessarily signal distrust from either partner. Instead, it can and should be viewed as a form of mutual respect, proactive conversation, and appropriate planning. For example, prenups should protect both parties in a relationship, not just one person, and making sure your future spouse is protected shows that you respect and love them!
Misconception 3: Prenups lead to divorce
The main subject of this article is the belief that prenups lead to divorce, which is not necessarily accurate. The mere presence of a prenup does not inherently increase the likelihood of marital breakdown. It’s the factors driving why a prenup was initiated, how it was created, and how it is used that matter.
The research suggests prenups decrease the chances of divorce
Research on the correlation between prenups and divorce rates is limited, and therefore, the findings should be taken with a grain of salt. However, there has been no conclusive evidence that suggests prenups have a direct correlation to an increased risk of divorce. A study showed no significant correlation between having a prenup and divorce rates. Research has shown that financial conflict is a leading factor in divorce. The same study as above showed this relationship. Therefore, prenups can actually help decrease the risk of divorce by decreasing potential financial issues before they arise or become significant.
What can help improve a relationship and help decrease the risk of divorce? Open and honest communication. What do prenups facilitate? Open and honest communication. Studies have shown that open discussion, especially about financial matters, can help significantly improve relationship satisfaction and stability. A 2008 study by Dew discovered evidence that financial disagreements were predictive of divorce. This suggests that things to decrease financial agreement (such as clear expectations and prenup agreements) can mitigate the risk.
The bottom line? There is no research or data suggesting that prenups = higher likelihood of divorce! In fact, research actually suggests the opposite–given the nature of a prenup requiring financial transparency, they can decrease the likelihood of divorce.
Things to consider as a couple
If you’re considering a prenup and not sure if it will affect your relationship, worry not; there is no data to suggest prenups increase your risk of divorce. However, here are the things you should consider when debating a prenup:
- Are you emotionally ready? Be sure that you both are emotionally ready to discuss the terms (at length). Support such as premarital counseling can help improve your communication strategies and address underlying issues so you’re ready to have these conversations.
- What do you both value? What do you both hold as values? Start with this value card sort activity if you’re unsure of your values. Understanding your personal values and your partner’s will equip you to understand each other’s POVs and requests in this process.
- What do you both define as “fair”? Before diving into the prenup’s nitty-gritty details, explain what you each see as “fair.” This discussion heavily connects to your work on values. Identify and fix any misalignments to ensure a more effective conversation.
- When would you come back to the drawing board? Discuss and agree on a timeline for both to return to your prenup for adjustments. This can be in a year, five years, or 10. This helps you both be on the same page and decrease any inequality in “bargaining power” based on the positions you are each currently in.
Tips for prenup success
If you’re opting in for a prenup, here are some tips to help make your prenup-making experience successful:
- Honesty: Be honest and open about financial matters, expectations, requests, and reactions. This is not the time to hold back. Share it all to minimize regret. In fact, NOT being honest can get your prenup thrown out–such as if you omit certain financial information.
- Be Nonjudgmental: While you will have to agree with the prenup’s content, that doesn’t stop you both from having reactions and feelings. Be open to hearing from each other and be nonjudgmental. Often, people need their feelings to be heard and validated, and then they can move on with problem-solving.
- Make It A Habit: To maintain transparency, discuss finances (and other areas of the prenup) regularly. You can even hold your very own money date on a recurring basis to make it fun and organized.
- Respect Each Other’s Views: Respect each other’s views and concerns. Be curious about why they find something important; you’ll likely learn something new.
- Compromise: You won’t make it out (successfully) without being willing to compromise. If a prenup is created without any compromise, the risk of difficulties in the relationship may increase. Not only that, but an egregiously one-sided prenup is more likely to be thrown out than if it were reasonable.
- Don’t Wait! Start these conversations ASAP. HelloPrenup recommends starting the process 3 to 6 months before the wedding. The more time you give yourselves to have these conversations, the more relaxed and confident you will be.
Don’t do it alone. Get help if needed!
No one said you have to do it alone! If you are struggling to have the prenup conversation with your partner or just simply don’t know where to start, you can pull in support from these resources:
- Legal Counsel/Prenup Support Services: To make the process smoother and more effective, seek legal services such as HelloPrenup or a licensed attorney in your state.
- Therapy Services: An individual or couples therapist can help you process the emotions that arise, identify coping strategies, and practice them. They will also help formulate effective communication strategies that work specifically for you two.
- Mediator: Incorporate trained legal resources to help compromise in areas of the prenup where you need a neutral party. For example, if you are at a stalemate with certain prenup provisions, a mediator can be of great help.
- Financial Advisor: Consult a financial advisor for guidance and advice on your specific situation. They can also help you incorporate financial goals into your plans.
Getting the professional support you need, be it therapy or legal advice, can help you navigate this process with ease!
Key takeaways
The bottom line is that studies show prenups, alone, do not increase the risk of divorce. They can be valuable tools that provide clarity and protection for both partners. Approach the topic with mutual respect, fairness, and a willingness to communicate, and prenups can strengthen a relationship rather than undermine it.
Dr. Vivian Oberling is a licensed clinical psychologist with degrees from UCLA, Harvard, and Stanford. In her private telehealth practice, she works with adults navigating anxiety, identity shifts, and relationship dynamics—whether they’re dating, partnered, or parenting. She also provides executive coaching and behavioral health advisory support to tech startups and legal tools reshaping how we think about love, marriage, and psychological safety. Dr. Oberling combines 10+ years of clinical expertise with modern, real-world insight to help people move through uncertainty with clarity and connection.
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