Recently engaged couples can have their life change in an instant! After you get engaged, your life quickly becomes all about wedding planning. From florals to DJs to place cards, you may soon catch yourself thinking about things you never paid attention to before.
It is easy to quickly become consumed in the world of wedding planning. Though the important details of you and your partner’s big day matter, it’s important to try not to lose sight of the focus. Saying “I do” to your partner is a commitment and a joining of two forces, for the rest of your lives. Too often, people become too wrapped up in the intricate details or planning of the wedding party itself, that they neglect to nurture and tend to the needs of the marriage.
Who Gets a Prenup?
Any couple can get a prenuptial agreement before marriage. This includes all ages, genders, and types of relationships (second marriages, etc). Though it’s never easy to talk about divorce, research suggests that couples often underestimate their realistic chances of divorce.
Research studies have found that only 11% of couples think their marriage has a realistic chance of ending in divorce. While the confidence in their marriage is admirable, the realistic chances of divorce are far higher. Divorce statistics are based on several factors, including age, location, years of marriage, and much more. However, on average, almost 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce or separation.
While it may not be easy, considering a prenup is a smart choice when you look at the statistics and facts surrounding divorce. Below, we’ll explore some of the most popular reasons couples benefit from signing a prenup.
Reasons to Consider Prenups
Before you throw the idea around to your partner, consider your reasoning for wanting a prenup. There are many advantages to getting a prenup before you get married. From protection against debt to ensuring family inheritances are passed down to your children, there are many reasons people choose to consider a prenup. Below are just a few of the many common reasons couples should consider signing a prenup:
First, it encourages you and your partner to have an honest, pre-marriage conversation. This allows you and your partner to get on the same page and take a break from planning party details that only matter for one day. Although discussing prenups may not always be easy, many couples say (after the fact) that they feel the conversation brought them closer together and more confident as they near the wedding date.
Another reason to consider a prenup is to ensure fairness in the relationship. In the event of a divorce, the terms and clauses in the prenuptial agreement will be honored. As such, this is your chance to ensure that assets will be divided evenly for both of you. This can help prevent sticky situations where the courts or legal system becomes involved and in charge of separating assets.
Many people choose to get a prenup simply to make divorce easier. While it does not at all suggest that divorce will ever happen, it serves as a backup or protection if it did. Divorces can quickly become complicated, resulting in arguments and legal battles. Couples who chose to sign a prenup before marriage often choose to do this to protect themselves from this stress in the future. Having a solid prenuptial agreement in place can help you and your partner separate quickly, ensure fairness, and avoid complex legal issues.
Thinking about Prenups
Thinking about a prenup may not be the most exciting pre-wedding task on your list. Unlike types of flowers and first dance songs, discussing the idea of a prenup with your partner can be more serious or awkward. If you’re having thoughts about asking your partner to sign a prenup, it’s best to start floating the topic around sooner rather than later.
When should I bring up the idea of a prenup to my partner?
Have you ever been put on the spot about something? Did it make you feel rushed and bothered? Chances are that the answer is yes. By nature, people do not like to be blindsided or rushed into signing something. While there is no strict timeline to follow on the best time to bring up the idea of a prenup to your partner, a good rule of thumb is: “as soon as possible!”.
Soon after you become engaged or get the idea of a prenup, you should bring it up to your partner. By doing this, you’ll allow them ample time to consider the benefits and think for as long as needed. Be sure to give your partner space to think in their head about the decision. In addition, by bringing the idea of a prenup up as soon as possible, you and your partner will have lots of time to discuss both of your individual needs, as well as your needs as a couple.
You may find the longest step in the prenup process is the discussions you and your partner have beforehand.
Things to Do When Bringing up a Prenup
While you now know that bringing up a prenup sooner rather than later is ideal, this doesn’t necessarily quell your concerns about doing it! Having these candid, frank conversations with your partner can be difficult, no matter what stage of your relationship you’re in. Before bringing up a prenup to your partner, consider the following:
- When? When bringing up a prenup goes beyond “sooner the better”. This also applies to the time of day and happenings of the day. For example, if your partner has just returned from a hectic day, maybe it’s not the best time to start an intense prenup discussion. If they’re getting ready for work in the morning, perhaps it’s not the best time to spring an intense topic on them. Thoughtful consideration as to when to approach your partner is important for your success!
- How? Like timing, the approach you take to bringing up a prenup to your partner matters too. You’ll want to remain cool, calm, and collected, without taking a defensive approach. For more information, check out our blog for a detailed guide to how to approach your partner about a prenup. Here, you’ll find tips and tricks to learn about the best ways to approach your partner.
When should we create the prenuptial agreement?
If you and your partner have come to a mutual decision to move forward in creating a prenup, congrats! Now it’s time to make the agreement and HelloPrenup makes the process by producing a quick, valid, and high-quality prenup is to use HelloPrenup.
Unlike the process of hiring an attorney, where you can expect the process of drafting, negotiating, and signing to take 3-6 months, by using HelloPrenup, your prenup can be created as quickly as you want, in as little as a few hours!
As a guideline, couples should aim to finalize their prenup at least thirty dates before the wedding date. To make sure you’re on pace, add your prenup to your pre-wedding to-do checklist so you don’t forget. Remember, different states have different rules that state when a prenup must be signed and reviewed. Be sure to check the laws of your specific state to make sure your prenup will remain valid.
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected].