Astrology. Human design. Kundli. Every culture or demographic has their own way to make sense of personality and gauge compatibility based on their own flavor of esoteric or mystical system. We’re going to briefly explore the workings of three different systems and offer you the opportunity to check compatibility with your partner according to each system. Don’t believe in “this stuff”? Not to worry, this article is still for you! Whether or not you actually believe such systems are credible, using these frameworks as a lens through which to view your relationship dynamics and check what does and doesn’t fit can be helpful in inspiring communication about the ways you relate to one another. In other words, even if these systems are not credible, they still provide structures that get you thinking and talking about relationship dynamics you may not have noticed or fully conceptualized before. It’s going to be an interesting ride. Buckle up!
‘Kundli’ is an ancient Sanskrit word for the vedic version of an astrological birth chart, otherwise known as a horoscope. It’s one of the most ancient systems of astrology still in use today; in India, one’s Kundli is still considered very important when choosing a husband or wife due to its intricate system of charting compatibility. Here are the different elements of a kundli chart, + what they purport to show about a person:
-Varna: Shows spiritual compatibility of a couple + ego levels (Astro Sage, 2022).
-Vashya: Indicates level of mutual attraction, control in the relationship, and speaks to the power dynamic in a couple. People fall into one of 5 categories, which each have their own characters (Astro Sage, 2022).
-Tara: Checks compatibility based on which of the 27 birth stars they’re born under.
-Yoni: Measures sexual compability, intimacy, and mutual love. Classified into 14 animals each with their own characteristics (Astro Sage, 2022).
-Graha Maitri: Literally meaning ‘friendship between two planets’ (Patel, 2021), Graha Maitri assesses friendship, affection, and mental compatibility (Astro Sage, 2022).
-Gana: Divides birth stars into three categories in order to shed light on behavior and temperament (Astro Sage, 2022).
-Bhakoot: Compares the position of the moon in both people’s charts in order to indicate emotional compatibility (Astro Sage, 2022).
-Nadi: Assesses health compatibility (Astro Sage, 2022).
In Chinese astrology, each year is associated with a different animal. Each animal has different attributes, and compatibility is gauged based on birth year/associated animal. The main traits for which each animal is known + their recent birth years are as follows. Check the traits associated with your and your partner’s birth years, and then keep reading for how to gauge compatibility in this system.
Rat (1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996): Positive traits: Rats are known for their savviness, intelligence, quick wit, versatility, and positivity. Negative traits: Rats can lack courage, have a tendency to nitpick, and be stubborn (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Ox (1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997): Positive traits: Oxen are known for being logical, hard-working, honest, loyal, and responsible. Negative traits: On the other hand, they can be reserved, overly conservative or cautious, and stubborn (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Tiger (1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998): Positive traits: Tigers are famous for their bravery, passion, optimism, and affinity for challenge and adventure. Negative traits: Tigers may be overconfident, rebellious, and emotionally volatile (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Rabbit (1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999): Positive traits: Rabbits are said to be optimistic, generous, kind, alert, and witty. Negative traits: They can also be vain and emotionally unstable; some consider them a bit too easily satisfied with the status quo (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Dragon (1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000): Positive Traits: Dragon people are popular, sincere, ambitious, independent, determined, and full of energy. Negative traits: On the flip side, dragons are known for giving up easily, lacking willpower, and refusal to admit mistakes (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Snake (1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001): Snakes are revered for their perceptive nature, their calm and modesty, and their talent, intelligence, and wellspring of inspiration. Negative traits: Watch out for the snake’s possessiveness, skepticism, indifference, and obstinance (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Horse (1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002): Positive traits: People born in these years are thought to be cheerful, talented, perceptive, inspired, popular, and smart. Negative traits: They could also be overconfident, overly ambitious, and overly sophisticated (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Sheep (1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003): Positive traits: Sheep are loved for their gentleness, sympathy, creativity, imagination, and their sociable and considerate personalities. Negative traits: May be pessimistic, hesitant, impractical, and stubborn (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Monkey (1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992): Positive traits: Those born under this sign are said to be active, quick-witted, fair, brave, funny, and smart. Negative traits: Their boastfulness, impatience, opportunism, and excessive pride can be annoying to those around them (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Rooster (1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993): Positive traits: Rooster folks may be more outgoing, independent, funnier, and smarter than the average. Negative traits: They are also prone to impatience, boasting, and big egos (Travel China guide, 2022)
Dog (1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994): Positive traits: If you or your partner is born in one of these years, you might be particularly brave, loyal, responsible, lively, and clever. Negative traits: You also might be oversensitive, overly emotional, stubborn, and conservative (Travel China Guide, 2022).
Pig (1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995): Positive traits: Pig people are noted for their sincerity and diligence, their positivity, and their compassion as well as for being responsible and generous. Negative traits: Pigs may be self-indulgent, emotional, and easily influenced and swayed by others (Travel China Guide, 2022).
To find your most compatible years, count four years into the past or future (don’t include your year in the counting. For example, if you were born in 1989, start counting with 1990 as ‘1’ and 1994 and 1985 as ‘4’). These are your most compatible years. In other words, for individuals born in 1989 (year of the snake), roosters and oxen are the most compatible animals due to their birth years. To find your least compatible years, count three years forward and backward. Signs directly opposite you (6 years apart) are a wildcard; they may be compatible or incompatible, though they aren’t likely to see eye to eye. Our source suggests that if the older partner in such a pairing is prepared to yield to the younger one, their union can be harmonious (China Travel Guide, 2022). However, compatibility within the system of Chinese astrology is also assessed using other measures beyond the simple rules of 3/4/6 years listed here.
Human Design is a pretty unique system for determining a person’s nature that was developed by a dude in Ibiza who claimed to have heard a voice speak to him for 8 days straight in explicit detail about the system that he would dub ‘human design’, which is synthesized from the I-Ching, the Jewish Kabbalah, knowledge about chakras, astrology, and quantum physics. This (supposedly) happened in 1981, making it one of the newest systems of its type. Whether or not you believe its creator’s story of the fantastical origins of human design, it can provide some interesting food for thought when it comes to your relationship.
Your human design chart, or ‘bodygraph’ is determined by your birthday, birth time, and time zone. There are 4 different overarching ‘types’ (IHDS, 2022) and various nuances within them (similar to how in western astrology, one has a sun sign and then a variety of other aspects making up their birth chart). Aside from human design types, one’s human design chart is also meant to give insights into their authority (or their decision-making tool), their definition (or how their life force interacts with the world), their profile (the costume they wear in life) (IHDS, 2022), and which of their nine ‘centers’ (modeled after chakras) are open vs. closed, for starters (Stritezsky, 2011). Going through your charts together as a couple and checking what resonates and what doesn’t can spark conversation on these topics and lead to better understanding of one another, your relationship, and the dynamics at play.
When it comes to gauging compatibility, human design software or professionals create a ‘relationship composite’ chart that combines two people’s bodygraphs into one in order to shed light on the dynamics underpinning their relationship. Doing so can help couples to explore…
-How each person impacts and influences the other
-How one is conditioned by their partner
-How to separate what is ‘mine’ and what is the other person’s (which allows one to be true to themselves while honoring the other person at the same time)
-Your similarities and differences in decision-making process (for example, does one person make decisions quickly, while the other needs time to think? What relationship dynamics has this discrepancy given rise to?)
-Quality and quantity of energy (for example, how much energy for ‘doing’ does each of your types bring to the table?)
Human design can get very specific. It can even speak to dynamics concerning finances. For example, if one partner has Gate 21 defined in their chart, they will want to control assets and resources and is likely to be more of a saver than a spender. If the other partner has Gate 45 defined, their spending is likely to be less discriminate and they won’t have as much regard for frugality. As you can imagine, a lot of friction can arise as a result of this combination, but human design can help this couple to develop mutual understanding by providing a framework through which to understand and manage their differences (Levenson, 2022).
Using a framework like human design, astrology, etc. can help you to better understand, support and interact with one another. At best, it will provide a reason that can explain why you and your partner are how you are, as well as a roadmap for how to navigate your differences gracefully. At worst, it can still help to get you talking about different aspects of your relationship dynamics and/or your personalities that you might not have taken a magnifying glass to before. It’s a fun way to do so, and it enriches your knowledge of both yourself and your partner.
Aside from these types of frameworks, there’s one other thing that can also open up communication about important topics you may not have covered extensively + provide a roadmap that can help you navigate marriage. Do you know what we’re talking about? If you haven’t guessed yet, it’s prenups! The process of drafting a prenup is sure to get you talking about how you each view and intend to jointly manage assets like debt, income, investments, businesses, inheritance, properties, and more. By discussing a prenup you and your partner can reduce the future conflict of not having set clear expectations and boundaries.
Hello Prenup guides you through creating a fast, easy, and affordable process and empowers you to create your own roadmap. Beyond guiding you through the prenup process itself, Hello Prenup also specializes in educational content; the blog is full of illuminating information about all kinds of topics, ranging from the prenup timeline to marriage licenses to secret ingredients for a happy marriage. All this is intended to be in service of helping to further enhance and add detail to your marriage roadmap. Bon voyage!
Astro Sage. 2022. Horoscope Matching, Kundli Matching, Kundli Match for Marriage. Retrieved from: https://www.astrosage.com/freechart/matchmaking.asp
International Human Design School. 2022. Human Design – A New Kind of Awakening. Retrieved from: https://www.ihdschool.com/newcomers
Levenson, E. 2022. Sneak Peak: Relationship Composite Reading. Retrieved from: https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/relationship-composite-reading/
Patel, N. 2021. Graha Maitri in Kundli Matching. Retrieved from: https://aaps.space/blog/what-is-graha-maitri/#:~:text=Graha%20Maitri%20is%20one%20of,between%20two%20planets%20in%20astrology.
Stritezsky, J. 2011. Basic Concepts of the Human Design System. Retrieved from: https://humandesign.net/basic-concepts.html#91
Travel China Guide, 2022. Chinese Zodiac. Retrieved from: https://www.travelchinaguide.com/intro/social_customs/zodiac/
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected].