How Often Should You Visit Your Parents After Marriage?

Aug 22, 2023 | Communication, Relationships

Did you know more than 55% of Americans live within an hour of their extended family, according to research? Needless to say, those 55% of Americans are likely to visit their parents quite often. However, only 21% of Americans see their adult children multiple times a week. The question is, how often should you visit your parents? Well, this is a personal decision. If you’ve recently tied the knot, this may be a huge contention point in your relationship, especially if you live close to family. Now, along with your shared Netflix account, you’ve got another delicate balance to maintain: How often to visit your ‘original’ roommates (that is, your parents) without driving your new roommate (i.e., your new spouse) bonkers!

How often should you visit your parents after getting married? (Data-driven answers)

We can’t tell you what is right for you, but what we can do is tell you what other people are doing. Let’s turn to some data to see how often young American adults are seeing their parents.

Studies show that only 10% of Americans see their parents daily. Only 21% see their parents multiple times a week. The much larger percentage falls between seeing their parents a couple of times a month (35%) and seeing their parents less than once a month (42%).

The takeaway? Most young adults (ages 18 to 34) see their parents less than once a month (42%, that is). Do with that what you will. And we want to reiterate that this is a completely personal decision! You may very well be part of the 10% that see their parents daily!


Navigating the in-law tango

Marriage isn’t always smooth sailing! Balancing your time with your spouse’s family is a delicate dance. Their ideal visit frequency might not match yours, leading to tricky negotiations. Open communication is key to finding a rhythm that works for both of you.

Setting Expectations for Family Visits

  • Be Flexible: Life is unpredictable, so approach plans with humor and adaptability.
  • Communication is Key: Discuss your preferred frequency of visits and compromise.
  • Find a Balance: Aim for a schedule that makes both of you happy and avoids resentment.

It’s All About Compromise
Remember, finding harmony in your marriage means respecting each other’s needs and feelings regarding family time. A little compromise goes a long way in keeping your marital tango in sync!


Finding the perfect visit frequency

Balancing visits with in-laws is a delicate art. Too much, and it feels overwhelming. Too little, and you risk hurt feelings. The goal is finding a sweet spot – regular visits that foster connection without burning anyone out.

Setting Boundaries with Tact

  • Focus on Special Occasions: Birthdays, holidays, and family traditions are non-negotiable.
  • Be Flexible: Life is unpredictable! Embrace the occasional unplanned visit.
  • Space & Respect: Your parents may love seeing you, but they (and you!) need downtime, too.

The Importance of Communication
Have an open and honest conversation with your spouse to determine what a comfortable visit frequency looks like for both of you. Then, kindly and clearly communicate this to your in-laws.


Balancing social commitments in marriage

Juggling work, friends, family, and your spouse can feel like a rodeo! Some obligations are predictable, while others appear out of nowhere. Here’s how to stay on top of it all while making time for your partner:

  • Prioritize Special Occasions: Birthdays, anniversaries, and family events are non-negotiable. Showing up builds connection and avoids hurt feelings.
  • Embrace Technology: Video calls let you witness the family fun from afar, even when you can’t physically be there. Include your spouse for shared bonding time!
  • It’s All About Balance: You need time with in-laws, but also time for work, hobbies, and relaxation with your spouse. Find a rhythm that works for everyone.

The Importance of Connection
Marriage is a team sport. Nurturing your relationship with your spouse’s family strengthens your bond and creates lasting memories (even if they involve hilarious karaoke mishaps!).

Finding your family visit rhythm

Deciding how often to visit your parents after marriage is a personal choice. Remember, clear communication with your spouse is crucial for finding a balance that works for everyone. Nurturing those in-law relationships is an important part of building a strong marriage.

The Key Takeaways

  • What Data Says: 42% of young adults see their parents less than once a month. Only 10% see their parents daily.
  • Compromise is Key: Openly discuss your ideal frequencies and find a happy medium.
  • Focus on Special Occasions: Birthdays, anniversaries, and traditions matter! Build connections without overwhelming anyone.
  • Embrace Technology: Video calls can bridge the distance and keep you involved, even when you can’t be physically present.
  • Balance is Everything: Time with in-laws is important, but so is time for yourself, your spouse, work, and hobbies.

Remember, It’s a Journey
Your relationship with your spouse’s family will evolve over time. Be flexible, communicate openly, and embrace both the sitcom chaos and the heartfelt moments. This shared journey can deepen your bond and create a strong foundation for a happy marriage.


You are writing your life story. Get on the same page with a prenup. For love that lasts a lifetime, preparation is key. Safeguard your shared tomorrows, starting today.
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