Now that you are engaged and getting ready for your big day, you have probably found yourself googling anything and everything relating to weddings, and the whole planning process. Do this, buy that, rent this, include that, there is so much information surrounding what brides should have at their weddings! Whether it be from friends, family, or society in general you might feel the pressure to plan a certain way, or include different aspects that have been traditional for years and years, but guess what? You do you! You and your fiancé can make this day exactly what you want it to be. Let’s take a look at seven wedding “shoulds” that are actually optional.
Bridesmaids
One of the first things you might think of after you get engaged is who do you want standing by your side when you say, “I do”? The he average bridal party ranges from 3-5, but it seems like more and more brides are having 6-10 (sometimes more!) attendants. This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to invite every friend, roommate, co-worker, sorority sister, or former teammate to stand by you at the altar.
Of course you never want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially those you consider close to you, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite everyone to stand by you. If you do decide to limit the number of bridesmaids you have, just remember they will still be at the wedding, and there are plenty of other ways to celebrate together leading up to the big day!
Mailing out “Save the Date” Cards
In case you are unfamiliar, a “save the date” card is a cute little mailable sent out to wedding guests to let them know you have decided on a date and location in which you will be married. Formal wedding invitations are sent at a later time, where you have specific day-of details, and a place to RSVP. While they can be a nice “heads up”, and typically a fun way to share an engagement photo (or two), save the date cards are not a necessity and have only become popular in recent years. On a similar note, if you want to send your invitations online that is perfectly acceptable as well, the internet really does make anything possible! Personalized wedding websites are a great resource that will allow you to have all the important details a guest might need, all in one, easily accessible place.
Having a Huge Guest List
Another “should” that can be very overwhelming when planning a wedding is feeling the need to invite everyone you know to be in attendance on your big day. Again, it’s all about what is important to you and your soon-to-be spouse. If you want a huge wedding then by all means go for it! But don’t feel the pressure to invite people just because you feel like you have to, or having to invite friends of your parents who you’ve never met before. Narrowing down your guest list is stressful, but it doesn’t have to be, especially with the right mindset. A unique “trend” that came from the pandemic, is the idea of having a hybrid wedding. This could be something to consider if you want to limit your guest list due to budget, personal preferences, or venue restrictions. Have you been keeping up with the latest wedding trends in 2022?
Party Favors
The wedding industry has ingrained in us the need to do more and buy more than you ever could have imagined leading up to your ceremony. Case in point, scrolling through Pinterest and seeing a ton of different wedding favor options that you never knew existed. Although it is a sweet gesture, it isn’t a necessity, and truth be told many guests might accidentally leave their party favors behind- leaving you with all the leftovers! An alternative to having a little personalized gift for all of your guests would be to allow people to take home some of your floral arrangements. Just remember, people are coming to celebrate your love story, nobody expects a little trinket that they can take home.
A Grand Wedding Cake
Its said that the average wedding cake that serves 100-150 guests is between $300-$800! Can you believe that? Sure, three-tier wedding cakes are stunning, but they aren’t a must. If you want to cut out the cost of a traditional wedding cake but still want to serve something sweet, you can opt for one of these fun options instead.
- A donut wall
- Cupcakes or little bundt cakes
- An ice cream bar
- A sweets table consisting of cookies, candy, and other small treats
Having a Photographer ALL Day
By all means, you and your future spouse need to book a wedding photographer! You will look back on pictures from your wedding day for the rest of your life. What you don’t have to do though, is have a photographer from the moment you start getting ready to when the last guest leaves the venue. If getting pictures while you are getting glammed up is important to you, you can always ask a friend to be in charge of getting these shots. Phone cameras are of such high quality nowadays, that this will allow you to still get nice shots.
You and your fiancé should decide what pictures are most important to you on your wedding day, and find a photographer that is willing to accommodate your vision and needs. By not having a photographer booked for the whole day, this will likely make your wallet smile. If you are interested in more ways to save on your big day, be sure to keep track of your budget.
Taking A Honeymoon Right Away
Yet another “should” in the wedding world is the idea that you and your fiancé should be jetting away for your honeymoon the very next morning. After all the money and time spent planning, a honeymoon really is a great way to kick off your life as a married couple and to relax and unwind. Going on a trip a week, month, or few months later won’t make it any less of a honeymoon! This is a great plan if you need to build up some more PTO or if you just want something to look forward to (post wedding blues are real!).
If you aren’t sure where to book your honeymoon, here are five affordable destinations to choose from.
Final Thoughts
So, it is safe to say there are a lot of things that you don’t have to do when it comes to wedding planning. But there is one important thing you should consider, and that is having a prenuptial agreement. There are many benefits to having a prenup, and it is a decision that only you and your soon-to-be spouse can make. A prenup must be created and signed before you get married, so make sure you don’t overlook this option when you are planning your wedding. If you are interested in learning more about how to secure a prenup in your state, be sure to check out HelloPrenup’s many resources!
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected].
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