Queue final scene! 2020 is officially coming to an end! We are also screaming and crying and worried that the zombie apocalypse will be here any minute too to really cap this whole thing off. You’re not alone.
As we are getting ready to transition into 2021, let’s reflect. This year was tough. Really tough.
Tigers and husbands were killed (way to go, Carole Baskin), mother nature went crazy with climate change (brush fires, tsunamis, etc), Donald Trump (in general, wtf?), Kobe Bryant, the unprecedented pandemic and social distancing, and so much more. We’re going to stop there – you already know this.
With most of us ready to leave this in the past, let’s be real. 2021 is only a few weeks away from now. The pandemic will still be in full swing, Carole Baskin is still roaming free, and Donald Trump is still pouting with his toys in the white house. This will all still be here on 12:01AM January 1, 2021.
But, what are some things that we can do right now? What are some things we can work on, with our partners and loved ones, that we can control? How can we start our new year off fresh amongst some really heavy stuff going on worldwide? Here’s how to set some really awesome goals with your partner and start 2021 way better than 2020 is leaving you.
Do more things for yourself (your fiancé(e) will thank you)
This might sound like a lecture from Captain Obvious, but right now it’s super important to make a list of what makes you happy and how to get more of that. When you’re happier, it affects literally everything – your health, your relationships, your job, and your outlook overall.
Now, if you’re not really in the mood to be positive because the world is pretty heavy right now, start there. Ask yourself what little things you can do that will improve your mental health to start 2021 off on the right note. Put your mask on before helping others around you, and make yourself a priority in 2021. This ripple effect will take you further in every aspect of your life, and your relationship with your future spouse, so here’s how to go set yourself up for success in 2021.
5 minute rule
Wake up 5 minutes earlier. Just do it. Wake up 5 minutes earlier than you normally do, and do something that makes you happy for 5 minutes. If it’s laying there and sleeping, fine, do that. But seriously, take 5 minutes for yourself and fill it doing something that makes you feel full – read a blog post from someone that inspires you (hi!), sit in your favorite spot in your apartment and express gratitude, call a friend you miss, but spend 5 minutes doing it and set your day off on a positive note.
30 day rule
Practice something religiously for 30 days. No, this doesn’t mean going back to your favorite house of worship and start spreading COVID (@jesus, where’s the meeting ID for Sunday?) This means commit to doing something that makes you happy and make it a priority for a cycle of 30 days. Is it doing your makeup every morning even if you stay home because makeup just makes you really happy? Is it going for a walk even if it’s too cold outside for the world to see a human? Is it trying new recipes because you like to cook? What about adding to your wedding inspo boards on Pinterest? By making a commitment to fill your precious time with something that makes you happy, you’re going to set the tone for the rest of the things you do and idolize that work life balance that is fading into our distant memories with everyone locked down at home. Pick something that makes you happy, do it for 30 days, and on day 31, start something else (or renew that happy thing and make it a priority for life).
12 month rule
Don’t panic. 12 months does sound like a long time to be committed to something, but clearly commitment won’t be an issue for you based on the rock on your finger (or rock on your fiancée’s finger). Pick something, or a few things, that you’re going to do (you guessed it!) for 12 months. For you over achievers, yes, you can combine your 5 minute and 30 day rules and do those for 12 months (this is your happiness so do what you need to do) but you get the idea. Why 12 months? So that in a year from now, you can sit yourself down and go “dude, I did it.” Accomplishing goals is proven to make you feel more confident, more stable, and better for your mental health overall. While you’re sitting there and aweing at yourself, you can also get excited about 2022 and how you’re going to prioritize happiness and look forward to that.
Our 2021 pact
Too often, we rely on the outside to make us happy on the inside- and this is often reflected in larger than life weddings. Let’s leave that in 2020. Let’s celebrate the micro-wedding, or just the fact that a wedding is about love for your partner, anyway. Clearly, there’s a lot of bad going on in the world, and yes, there is a lot we have to do to acknowledge these things, but there are ways to combat the heavy toll that these outside factors put upon us by prioritizing our own happiness.
Let’s make joy contagious and not COVID. Let’s spread good news and not just bad. Let’s make ourselves happy so we can make others happy and remember that life can get really grim sometimes, but there are so many things that we can do to fill our time with positivity and that is what’s most important. Yes, we are carrying over a lot of inevitable stuff from 2020 that is super heavy and terrible. But, we are not going to keep spending our days focusing on the bad and refuse to let it bring us down anymore. So, cheers to 2021: may it bring your joy-filled wedding day, and less doom and gloom. May your COVID tests remain negative and your days remain positive. May you find joy in new and old places and strengthen every aspect of your life. We’re rooting for you and we’re working on us too.
See you on the other side. ????
Julia Rodgers is HelloPrenup’s CEO and Co-Founder. She is a Massachusetts family law attorney and true believer in the value of prenuptial agreements. HelloPrenup was created with the goal of automating the prenup process, making it more collaborative, time efficient and cost effective. Julia believes that a healthy marriage is one in which couples can openly communicate about finances and life goals. You can read more about us here Questions? Reach out to Julia directly at [email protected].