Cohabitation saw a dramatic increase between 1960 and 2007, with a tenfold rise in the first 40 years and an 88% jump in the final 17 years, according to data. This signals the growing trend towards unmarried couples. But is there an alternative to getting married for these cohabitating pairs? Choosing the right legal structure for your relationship is important. Let’s explore the differences between traditional marriage and an alternative: domestic partnerships. We’ll uncover:
- Historical Context: How these options evolved in the US.
- Rights and Responsibilities: What each type of union offers couples.
- Prenup Questions: Can domestic partners protect their assets like married couples can?
Let’s dive in!
How has marriage changed throughout history?
Marriage is an ancient institution with practices that have shifted throughout history. Here’s a glimpse at its changing nature through history:
- Ancient Origins: The earliest recorded marriage dates back to Mesopotamia around 2350 BC.
- Medieval Europe: Marriages were often strategic alliances for families based on economic and social factors.
- The Victorian Era: During this time, a shift towards romance-based unions occurred. Courtship and elaborate weddings became common.
- 20th Century and Beyond: Feminism challenged traditional gender roles within marriage, divorce became more prevalent, and the legalization of same-sex marriage in several countries broadened the definition.
- Present: Is marriage on the decline? Only 53% of adults aged 25-54 were married in 2019, a significant drop from the 67% seen in 1990, according to Pew Research Center.
What is the history of domestic partnerships in the US?
Domestic partnerships emerged around the year 2000 as a way to provide legal rights to same-sex couples who were denied marriage equality. Since then, the landscape has shifted:
- Evolving Purpose: While initially focused on same-sex couples, some states now offer domestic partnerships to both same-sex and opposite-sex couples.
- Benefits: Domestic partnerships offer various legal and economic protections to unmarried couples.
- Post-Obergefell: The 2015 legalization of same-sex marriage led some states to eliminate domestic partnerships. However, several states still offer them as an alternative to marriage, regardless of a couple’s gender.
States Recognizing Domestic Partnerships (whether statewide or in only select cities):
Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New Mexico, New York, Nevada, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, Vermont, Washington.
What’s the difference between marriage and domestic partnerships?
Marriage and domestic partnerships have significant legal, social, and religious differences. Let’s break down the key distinctions between marriage and domestic partnerships:
- Legal Differences: Marriage comes with many more federal and state-level benefits. This includes joint tax filing, automatic inheritance rights, and access to your spouse’s social security. Domestic partnerships might offer some of these benefits depending on the state, but it varies greatly.
- Social Perception: Society often views marriage as a stronger commitment than a domestic partnership. This is partly due to the legal hurdles involved in ending a marriage (ever heard of a fun divorce?) compared to the often simpler process of dissolving a domestic partnership.
- Religious Aspects: Many religions have long-standing traditions and rituals surrounding marriage. Domestic partnerships, being newer, are less frequently recognized by religious institutions. Of course, this varies depending on specific religions and individual beliefs.
What challenges do couples in domestic partnerships face?
Domestic partnerships have a complex history, marked by legal battles, social stigma, and unequal benefits. Here’s a breakdown of some of the challenges couples in domestic partnerships may face:
- Legal Struggles: Historically, many states didn’t recognize domestic partnerships as valid unions. This led to numerous legal fights by same-sex couples seeking equal rights under the law.
- Limited Benefits: Even where recognized, domestic partnerships often (still) don’t offer the same level of benefits as marriage. This gap can create significant financial and practical disadvantages.
- Social Stigma: Unfortunately, some people still view domestic partnerships as lesser than traditional marriage. This discrimination can manifest in social interactions and legal obstacles.
- Economic Hardship: Without access to the same financial benefits as married couples (like joint health insurance, retirement benefits, etc.), domestic partners can face economic hardship.
What’s next for marriage and domestic partnerships?
The future looks flexible! Attitudes are changing, leading to more acceptance and equality, especially for same-sex couples and poly couples. A groundbreaking example is Massachusetts, where some towns now legally recognize polyamorous domestic partnerships (relationships with more than two people). This could signal a broader shift towards recognizing diverse relationship styles within the law. So, we may be seeing more localities other than those in MA recognizing polyamorous relationships legally, ensuring all types of love are recognized by law.
Can you have a domestic partnership for a polyamorous relationship?
While polyamorous relationships aren’t legally recognized as marriages in the US, some cities are making strides towards this path:
- Domestic Partnerships: Somerville and Cambridge, Massachusetts, allow registration of polyamorous relationships as domestic partnerships.
- Beyond Romance: These polyamorous partnerships can be platonic or romantic, offering options like joint property ownership and health insurance benefits.
- Challenges Remain: Health insurers might not recognize multi-partner relationships, creating obstacles for those in polyamorous unions seeking protection. However, 9,400 employers in the US extend health insurance benefits to domestic partnership relationship couples, with 95% of those offering it to both same-sex and different-sex domestic partners.
Prenups and domestic partnerships
No, you cannot get a prenup in a domestic partnership.
- Prenups are for Marriage: Prenuptial agreements are specifically designed for couples who plan to marry. They outline financial arrangements in case of divorce.
- Domestic Partnerships ≠ Prenups: You cannot use a prenup if you’re in a domestic partnership.
- Consider Cohabitation Agreements: These contracts are similar to prenups but tailored for unmarried couples living together. They can protect assets and outline expectations for shared living.
- State Laws Matter: Not every state allows cohabitation agreements, so check your local laws or real out to a qualified attorney.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about marriage and domestic partnerships
Q: When was the first marriage recorded in history?
A: The first recorded marriage dates back to ancient Mesopotamia, around 2350 BC.
Q: What is the difference between a civil union and a domestic partnership?
A: A civil union and domestic partnership can vary slightly in what benefits are offered and what is required to get one. For example, in New Jersey, to be eligible for a civil union, you only need to be 18 years old. To register a domestic partnership, you must be 62 years of age. The difference between a civil union and a domestic partnership will vary depending on what state you’re in.
Q: How long have domestic partnerships been around?
A: Domestic partnerships were first introduced in 2001 in California.
Q: How have economic factors affected the institution of marriage?
A: Economic factors, such as the rise of the feminist movement and changing gender roles, have affected the institution of marriage by challenging traditional notions of gender and power dynamics within relationships.
Q: What is the future of marriage and domestic partnerships in the United States?
A: The future of marriage and domestic partnerships in the United States is constantly evolving. With the recent legalization of polyamorous domestic partnerships in Massachusetts in response to COVID-19, we think the next big movement will be the nationwide acceptance of polyamory and domestic partnerships.
Q: Are civil unions and domestic partnerships the same thing?
A: Not quite. Civil unions are non-marital partnerships that may be recognized on a state level. On the other hand, domestic partnerships are also non-marital relationships that are recognized on the state OR the city level (think of the Massachusetts counties that recognize domestic partnerships for polyamorous couples; this is on the city level, NOT the state level).
Marriage, domestic partnerships, and the changing legal landscape
The history of marriage and domestic partnerships in America is a story of ongoing evolution. From ancient traditions to modern legal rulings, the ways we define committed relationships continue to expand.
While marriage and domestic partnerships offer differing rights and responsibilities, both provide pathways to creating loving, recognized unions. The progressive laws in areas like Massachusetts hint at a future where legal protections become even more inclusive for diverse relationships.
Nicole Sheehey is the Head of Legal Content at HelloPrenup, and an Illinois licensed attorney. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Nicole has Juris Doctor from John Marshall Law School. She has a deep understanding of the legal and financial implications of prenuptial agreements, and enjoys writing and collaborating with other attorneys on the nuances of the law. Nicole is passionate about helping couples locate the information they need when it comes to prenuptial agreements. You can reach Nicole here: [email protected]
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